Fox News Cartoon Dog Show 2

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF ‘BILL CLINTON’ WEARING A ‘DAVEY CROCKETT’ COONSKIN HAT IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.

FOXY
Hillary Clinton produced another bitter ad on the internet
last night, this one featuring husband Bill dressed like
Davey Crockett and Hillary dressed as Annie Oakley finding
a bitter run away pot addict named Obama, played by Wesley Snipes,
and urging him to give up his pot and come shoot some raccoons
with them and their friendly small town religious coon posse. Wesley
then blows smoke in their face and runs away laughing with Rocky
Raccoon as Davey and Annie and their friendly posse fire a barrage of
bitter coon snipes at them. Thirty seconds after the add appeared
Hillary’s new Strategy Head Geraldine Ferraro resigned her post after
Revs Jeramiah, Al, and Jesse complained about racial overtones, though,
Geraldine swears, it wasn’t racial at all it was just Bill’s idea of
black comedy. She then confirmed Nancy Pelosi will be Hillary’s new
Strategy Head before bitterly resigning as Bill’s private secretary.

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘TOMMY CHONG’ IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.

Not to be outdone, Barack Obama released a bitter internet ad thirty
seconds later featuring Gary Busey and Nick Nolte as Bill and Hillary
lying in bed at 3 a.m and smoking a joint but not inhaling, much to the
chagrin of their new joint Heads of Strategy, ‘Cheech and Chong’, when
Monica Lewinski bounces in and offers Bill her big juicy Cuban cigar just
before Hillary smashes her face in and shoves the cigar in Bill where the
sun don’t shine. Twelve seconds later Obama’s Head Spokesman Oprah
apologized to all Cubans for having their cigar end up in such a bitter
end.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘SLY STALLONE’ DRESSED AS ‘ROCKY’ AND HOLDING MACHINE GUN.

Not to be out done by the bitter feuding Democrats, John
McCain posted a t.v. ad three hours later featuring Sly
Stallone as ‘Rocky’ telling kids that both he, Rambo and
John believe drug use can not be tolerated for future
Presidents, unless its healthy legal Asian steroids that make
you look big, young, and smart, like him, Rambo, John and
The Terminator. He then promised the kids if John wins the
election all four of them will quickly win the war on terror,
the war on drugs, and win back an N.F.L. team to L.A..
Two hours later McCain’s Strategy Head Maria Shriver had the ad
pulled after having to admit winning back an N.F.L. team
to L.A. could take a bit longer than anticipated.,, and
that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.
( SMILES )

SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘BILL CLINTON’ DRESSED LIKE ‘DAVEY CROCKETT’, ‘TOMMY CHONG’ WEARING A ‘RON PAUL 4 PREZ’ SHIRT AND ‘SLY STALLONE’ DRESSED AS ‘ROCKY’ AND HOLDING A MACHINE GUN. THERE ARE TWO EMPTY SEATS.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being the day of the lemon we got a
bit of a bitter panel for ya all,

BILL ( angry )
Hey I’m not bitter! Why should I be, I’m going to be the next
Pres,, I mean Vice Pres, d’oh,, I mean, first man, and I tell you
what, I’ll still be the one wearing the pants in the White House,
believe me!

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘BILL’ LOOKS ANGRY AND WAGS FINGER AT THEM, THEY SHUT UP FAST.

TOMMY
Ya just cause I did nine months hard jail time for selling a
bong it doesn’t make me bitter man, pissed off ya but hey,
jail was good for me man, I found a used bible and four more
bitter sweet dealers called Dave.

AUDIENCE ( voices only )
Dave’s not here man !

‘TOMMY’ LAUGHS AND WAGS FINGERS TO AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS.

ROCKY
Well I sure ain’t bitter, I’m a bit Rocky and Rambo but
not bitter cause these healthy Asian steroids make me very
happy and sweet. ( SMILES SICKLY )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS,’ ROCKY’ LOOKS ANGRY AND WAVES MACHINE GUN, THEY SHUT UP FAST. IN RUNS AND OUT OF BREATH ‘WESLEY SNIPES’ DRESSED ONLY IN ‘GOOFY’ BOXERS.

WESLEY
Sorry I’m late,, got held up and robbed by a very bad man!

REDD
Who was it, the TAX man?

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS.

WESLEY
No, I think it was Nick Nolte or Gary Busey.

HILLARY ( angry voice only )
Hey I am not a God Damned bad man actor! I AM
WOMAN !!

REDD
Yikes she sounds like Hell, an Ready. ( WINKS AT
AUDIENCE )

HEAR AUDIENCE GROANS AND DOG BARKS AT BAD PUN.

BILL
Geez, I only wish she would talk like that in bed . ( LAUGHS LIKE ‘BULLWINKLE’ )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND IN RUSHES ANGRY ‘HILLARY’ DRESSED IN ‘WESLEY’S’ PIMP CLOTHES AND CARRYING A BIG JOINT AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE SHE COMPLETELY SHOVES THE JOINT DOWN ‘BILL’S ‘ THROAT’. SHOT GOES TO A CLOCK THAT SAYS ‘3 A.M.’ AND A PHONE RINGS AND CAMERA PANS BACK TO SEE ‘BILL’, ‘HILLARY’, AND ‘OBAMA’ IN BED SMOKING A JOINT. THEY LOOK FREAKED OUT AT PHONE SO ‘BILL’ RINGS THE MAID’S BELL AND IN COMES ‘GERALDINE FERRARO’ DRESSED AS MAID.

BILL
Could you get that Geraldine,, tell them we have all gone out
coon shooting .

THE BED STONERS ALL BREAK OUT INTO STONER LAUGHS, ‘GERALDINE’ ROLLS HER EYES AND ANSWERS THE PHONE.

GERALDINE ( Flip Wilson’s ‘Geradine’ voice )
House of laughs ?

SCREEN SPLITS TO SEE A JUBULANT ‘RALPH NADER’ ON THE OTHER SIDE.

RALPH
Hey Geraldine, it’s Ralphypoo here, that Vice President job is
still yours if you want it baby face.

GERALDINE ( excited )
Oh my God! yes yes yes! thank you ! Lord, You are a savior!
Muuahhhhhh honey !

GERALDINE HANGS UP SMILING AND SCREEN GOES FULL SHOWING THE BED STONERS HAVE PERKED UP.

HILLARY
What, is it good news ?

BARACK
Please tell me they are having a Florida recount.

BILL
If that was Monica tell her I don’t smoke in bed no more,
honest.

GERALDINE
Well I’ve got some good news and some bad news, which one
you want first?

HILLARY
Well since we are all bitter, give us the bad news first.

GERALDINE
Gladly, well the bad news is,, GET OUT OF MY
BED HONKIES !!!!

STONERS LOOKED SHOCKED AND A SIGN QUICKLY DROPS DOWN WITH A ‘GOOFY’ DOG VOICE OVER.

GOOFY ( voice only )
The preceding was a very cheap political ad written and
produced by A. Dog for Ron Paul. Remember kids, a vote for
Ron tells them you’re as mad as hell and aren’t going to
take this anymore!,, gawrsh!,,

HEAR THE START OF ‘GOOFY’S’ LAUGH AND CUT.

Fox News Cartoon Dog Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF A GRINNING ‘HILLARY CLINTON’ WEARING BOXING GLOVES.

FOXY
Hillary Clinton donned boxing gloves last night to spar it out
on ‘The Daily Show’ in yet another attempt to promote her
Rocky image. When John informed her that Rocky actually lost
that first fight, Hillary laughed uneasy for a few seconds
before throwing down her gloves and adopting the
cartoon persona of tv’s ‘Underdog’, gleefully yelling out the
heroe’s catchphrase, ”There is no need to fear,, UNDERDOG
is here”, at which point, husband Bill entered the ring to a
thunderous reception where the loving couple exchanged stern
glances, a few tears, and then laughed and hugged each other
crazy just like it was the long awaited, much anticipated, ‘Rocky
and Bullwinkle Comeback Special’.

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘MONICA LEWINSKI’ IN A BLUE DRESS CLUTCHING NOTES.

-Monica Lewinsky appeared on Larry King last night in
a blue dress to say how disgusted she is that her name keeps
cuming up in Bill’s rerun for the White House. She said her
jobs and affairs with Bill were so last century and she has now
moved on to being a very successful writer cheerfully telling
Larry she has just sold the notes of her political affairs for a
Fox TV Movie tentively titled,‘ Sex, Lies, and Cigars’, starring
the voluptuous Sandra Bernhardt playing herself opposite
the very sexy and charming Nick Nolte or Gary Busey as Bill,
and Steve Martin, as the Young John McCain, who she claims, only
has a very very small part.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘BILL CLINTON’ WEARING ‘UNDERDOG’ CAPE.

-Chelsea Clinton stormed off stage last night at an Anchorage
Underdog Convention after a bad audience dog asked her about her
feelings on Bosnians and cigars. A furious Chelsea swore backstage
that she refuses to answer any more snipes about Bosnians, cigars,
Monica, or any of her dad’s other numerous affairs just in case her
mum hears about them. Father Bill then came on stage to apologize for
Chelsea’s outburst saying the entire Clinton Family were all firm
supporters of fine cigars and underdogs and then donned the ‘Underdog’
cape and sang and danced his way through the ‘Underdog Theme Song’ for
the barking mad crazy audience of drunk sled dogs and illegal Canadian
immigrants.,, And that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time, for
‘Foxx n Friends’. ( SMILES )

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘HILLARY CLINTON’ DRESSED LIKE ‘UNDERDOG’, ‘CHELSEA CLINTON’ WEARING ‘UNDERDOG FOR PRESIDENT’ SHIRT, AND ‘MONICA LEWINSKY’ IN A BLUE DRESS CLUTCHING HER NOTES. THERE ARE TWO EMPTY SEATS.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being the day of the dog we got a bitch
of a panel for ya all,

HILLARY
Hey excuse me Redd ! Just because I’m going to be the first
female President it doesn’t make me a bitch, in real life I’m
actually a very charming, warm, compassionate, loving,
humorous, sensual woman,, just ask Bill, wink wink.
( FORCED SMILE )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘HILLARY’ GROWLS AT THEM LIKE ‘UNDERDOG’, THEY SHUT UP FAST.

CHELSEA
Ya and just because my dad is a dog it doesn’t make me a
bitch, I refuse to answer any more questions while my mum
is listening !

MONICA
Oh cum on Girls, am I the only bitch here dog enough to admit
it, yes I’m a bitch but thanks to good old Bill I’m now a rich
bitch, thank God for The Clintons, I love you guys.

‘MONICA’ SMILES AND WAVES HER ‘SEX, LIES, AND CIGARS’ NOTES AT HILLARY'. ‘HILLARY’ AND ‘CHELSEA’ LOOK AT HER WITH DAGGERS AS IN RUSH ‘GERALDINE FERRARO’ AND ‘NANCY PELOSI’ HOLDING HANDS AND WEARING ‘MONICA’S’ BLUE DRESS WITH CUM STAINS .

GERALDINE ( sounds like ‘Flip Wilson’s’ ‘Geraldine’ )
Sorry we are late hunnies,, we just had a HARD meating
with Bill, to be cum Hillary’s new HEAD,. of stra duh gee!

REDD
Damn Geraldine, that old dog is always looking for new
HEAD ! ( WINKS AT AUDIENCE )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS ‘GERALDINE’ AND ‘NANCY’ NOTICE THE CUM STAINS.

GERALDINE AND NANCY ( in unision )
OH MY GOD!,, Hillary,, umm,, I can explain,, umm,,, THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT !

REDD
CAT FIGHT !!!

HEAR HUGE AUDIENCE CHEERS AND DOG BARKS AS ‘HILLARY’ WITH HER SUPER HUMAN SUPER DELEGATE POWERS LEAPS UP AND CUT JUST AS SHE THROTTLES ‘GERALDINE’S’ AND ‘NANCY’S ‘ THROATS. SHOT GOES TO THE STAGE OF ‘SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ROCKY AND BULL WINKLE CUM BACK SPECIAL’ WHERE ‘BILL’ DRESSED AS ‘BULLWINKLE’ AND ‘HILLARY’ DRESSED AS ‘ROCKY THE SQUIRREL’ WEARING BOXING GLOVES ARE GLOWING IN THE LOUD AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUSE AND THEN DO A TERRIBLE VERSION OF THE ‘UNDERDOG THEME SONG’.

‘UNDERDOG THEME SONG LYRICS’

there's no need to fear, Underdog is here

when criminals in this world appear
and break the laws that they should fear
and frighten all who see or hear
the cry goes up both far and near
for Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!

speed of lightning, roar of thunder
fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!

when in this world the headlines read
of those whose hearts are filled with greed
who rob and steal from those who need
to right this wrong with blinding speed
goes Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!

speed of lightning, roar of thunder
fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!

‘ROCKY’ AND ‘BULL’ GRIN AS SONG FINISHES TO THE SOUND OF A FEW AUDIENCE COUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘ROCKY’ LOOKS UNEASY.

ROCKY
Gee Bull, I sure hope your idea of giving me a Rocky image
was a good one.

BULL
Heck Rocky, don’t listen to anything I say, I just like talking
a lot of BULL. ( LAUGHS LIKE ‘BULLWINKLE’ )

‘ROCKY’ LOOKS ANGRY AND PUNCHES ‘BULL’ HARD IN THE WINKLE TO HUGE AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND A SIGN QUICKLY DROPS DOWN WITH A ‘MICKEY MOUSE’ VOICE OVER.

MICKEY ( voice only )
The preceding was a very cheap political ad written and
produced by A. Mouse for Ralph Nader. Remember kids, every vote for Ralph wins you FREE Al Gore Hot Air credits! ,,

HEAR THE SOUND OF A JUICY FART AND THE START OF ‘WOODY WOODPECKER’S’ LAUGH AND CUT.