NOT THE FOXX NEWS
SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF BALD ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’.

FOXY
Britney Spears fresh from completing her third rehab in a week told
reporters rehab was the hardest seven hours of her life but was well worth it and then said contrary to reports she didn’t cut off her hair because she was crazy but it was for a new role in a Fox comedy series she is making with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie based on the lives of ‘ The Three Stooges’ in which she plays the role of Curly. Paris and Nicole are still fighting over who gets the Moe role.

BRITNEY
Ya I passed on the Moe role cause dark hair makes me look craaazzyy,, n’yuk -n’yuk- n’yuk !

FOXY
Yes I can imagine.

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO JAMES BROWN IN COFFIN.

FOXY
Ted Williams Head thawed out long enough today for him to criticize
James Brown’s and Anna Nicole’s families for not burying them as
he hates to see silly family squabbling over the dead. He then asked for the baseball scores and also confirmed he was the real father of Anna Nicole’s baby just before his son quickly refroze him.

JAMES BROWN
Damnnnn, I wish my family could have thought a head like Ted’s,
cause,, whoa-oa-oa, ( SINGS ‘I feel good’) I feel bad,,, just like I knew I would,, (COFFIN SHAKES, LID CLOSES) Hey who turned out the lights?

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ZSA ZSA GABOR.

FOXY
Zsa Zsa Gabor today announced she is filing for divorce from Prince
and is demanding a new seven year Hollywood contract, a Fox reality series, and half of Anna Nicole’s baby. The unusually plump Ms Gabor also scoffed at rumours she was carrying her new fiance and lawyer Howard K. Stern’s lovechild.

ZSA ZSA
Don’t be silly I’m not pregnant, it’s just wearing two pairs of
Depends ads ten pounds dahling.

FOXY SHUDDERS AT THAT THOUGHT AS MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO’.

FOXY
Australian Prime Minister John Howard has strongly condemned
Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign saying women make useless
leaders citing New Zealand’s Helen Clarke as an example saying she
refused to go to war with him and now just mocks him and calls him silly names. In response New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clarke
said, “ Skippy is just a stupid Bush kangaroo and a whimpy girl’s
blouse of a pussy leader who should just hop away from the Bush
and admit defeat”.

SKIPPY ( NIXON LIKE )
Hey I am not a bush kangaroo, I repeat, I am not a bush kangaroo,,
I live in Sydney now thank you very much,, tch tch tch tch,, tch tch tch.

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘PRINCE’ ( the superbowl one).

FOXY
Good news for Zsa Zsa Gabor as Prince has just agreed to give her a seven year Hollywood contract and a Fox reality series but will strongly fight over giving her half of Anna Nicole’s baby saying he conceived that idea all by himself and has hired top attorney Howard K. Stern to
represent him.

PRINCE
That’s it I’m changing my name back to Symbol to stop all this
confusion, I am not Zsa Zsa’s toyboy!,, though I must admit, wearing
Depends kind of turns me on,, Uh!, ( SINGS ‘ kiss’ ) You
don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on,,,,,

MONITOR PIC PANS DOWN TO SEE ‘PRINCE’ IS WEARING DIAPERS AND HAS A HUGE BONER AND MONITOR QUICKLY TURNS OFF.

PRINCE ( VOICE ONLY )
Hey who turned me off, I was just cumin to the good bit !

FOXY
And that’s today’s head lines and now back to ‘Foxx and Friends’.

SHOT TO A SET ‘FOXX AND FRIENDS’ WITH ‘REDD FOXX’ (funny old black comic) AS HOST WITH ‘JAMES BROWN’ AND ‘ANNA NICOLE’ SITTING UP IN THEIR COFFINS AND ‘TED WILLIAMS HEAD’ IS ON A PLATTER SMOKING A CIGAR LIKE THE PROUD DADDY HE IS.


REDD
Man who would have thought one day I would have the last word
in a very black comedy sketch written by some crazy mongrel Kiwi dog, Hah!

REDD PRETENDS HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK AS WE HEAR FOUR BARKS FROM MONTY, CUT !

Not the Fox News

NOT THE FOX NEWS
CHEAP SET WITH NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND MONITOR BEHIND HER. MONITOR HAS A PICTURE OF ‘PORKY PIG’ WEARING AN ‘ATLANTA BRAVES’ BASEBALL CAP AND GIVING THE FINGER.

FOXY
The city of Boston was again in cartoon chaos today after the city was closed for seven hours after five obscene Daffy Duck balloons were strategically released across the city to promote a new Cartoon Network show, ‘This is Daffy’. Police Chief Wigan has released a picture of the main suspect who he describes as a dirty stuttering pig who goes by the name of T-t-t-t-ted T-t-t-t-turner.

MONITOR GOES TO ‘DAVID BECKHAM’ WITH ‘MICKEY MOUSE’
HAT ON.

America had its first official soccer riot today after a swarm of lawyers stampeded Los Angeles International Airport to see who could carry Posh Spice’s bags after it was announced the Beckhams will star in a new Fox reality series. Police said fortunately David and his bags weren’t harmed but Anna Nicole’s ex, Howard K. Stern, had to crawl twenty three miles to a hospital after suffering serious groin injuries.

DAVID ( squeaky Mickey Mouse voice )
Ya poor Howard, looked like a soccer game had erupted between his legs, I never knew lawyers could be so mean, especially those women ones,Yeouch.

MONITOR SHOT GOES TO ‘MICKEY MOUSE’ IN A DRESS
AND HOLDING A SOCCER BALL.

FOXY
Disney today announced it had signed highly respected English actor, David Beckham, to star in their new animated fairy tale,‘ Minney Mouse,
Soccer Mom’.

MICKEY MOUSE ( David Beckham’s voice )
Hey quit taking the mickey out of me, I don’t wear dresses, I’m
an English mouse.

MONITOR PICTURE GOES TO ‘JOHN TRAVOLTA’ WEARING PILOTS UNIFORM.

FOXY
At a hastily arranged press conference today Posh Spice told a swarm of lawers she is overwhelmed by the mountain of sitcom offers she’s received as Fox thinks she is a very funny actress and has offered her every pilot that Anna Nicole and Pam Anderson turned down for being to stupid.

JOHN
HEY, I ain’t stupid, I can drive a plane ya know.

FOXY
Well if you, “ain’t stupid”, explain Scientology,, and that movie ?

JOHN ( Thinks hard for a few beats )
. . . DOH !

MONITOR PICTURE GOES TO ‘WILLIAM SHATNER’ IN ‘STAR TREK’ UNIFORM WITH DRINK IN HAND.

FOXY
Fox TV announced today it’s making a spicy new mini series on the astronaut love triangle starring Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, and William Shatner. Production is due to start once everybody completes rehab
and as of yet, no word on who will be wearing the diapers.

WILLIAM
I sure hope it isn’t me, I HATE weeee roles.

FOXY
Now now William, no need to take the piss.

WILLIAM
Damn Foxy, that pun was piss poor, I’m out of here, beam me up
Scotty.

WILLIAM DISSAPEARS UP REVEALING BEHIND HIM ARE
‘BOSTON ILLIGAL’ SIGN AND BELOW IS BOSTON CARTOON BOT WEARING AN ‘ATLANTA BRAVE’ BASEBALL CAP .

BOT ( Ted Turner accent )
Cheers Boston for all that great publicity, you Yankees are just to
all Crazzzzyyyyyy.

BOT’S OBSCENE FINGER LIGHTS UP AND THEN BOT EXPLODES.