SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND MONITOR BEHIND HER HAS A PICTURE OF A CRYING ‘HEATHER MILLS’.
FOXY
A tearful Heather Mills fired herself as her lawyer last night
after crying all day about only getting fifty odd million of
Sir Paul’s easy earned money. Heather claimed she was just to
nice and honest to be a lawyer and is now even refusing to pay
her own legal bill which she described as, Bloody Extravagent !
When Sir Paul heard the news he was very surprised saying with
her lying, greedy, despicable personality he thought she made a
great shyster and had already recommended her to Prince Zsa Zsa
Gabor, Yoko Ono, and Roger Clemens.
MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘HOWARD K. STERN’ STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT.
- Baby Dannielynn’s lawyer Howard K. Stern told Larry
King last night he is now representing his very good friend
and protégé Sam Lutfi in a bid to get back control of Britney
Spears from her greedy parents. He said Sam was doing
a great job with Britney giving her just the right
amount of drugs to keep her sane and was just about to
kick start her career again by teaching her to talk like
Posh Spice so she could star in her very own Fox Reality
Series. When Larry asked Howard if he and Larry had
kissed and made up yet, Howard blushed and admitted they
had, but then stressed, there was no tongue,,yet.
MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘ ROGER CLEMENS’ STICKING TONGUE OUT.
- Roger Clemens announced at a U.S. Senate party last
night he is now starting divorce proceedings against his
wife after he learnt she had taken Human Growth
Hormone. He told the tipsy Senators she had assured him
it was just the same vitamin B and linseed oil he had been
shooting up and like a fool, he believed his wife. The Senate
then rose and gave him a standing ovation and exonerated him
off all charges before announcing they will now investigate
alleged steroid abuse amongst Hollywood porn starlets and
Country music stars. The party then ended prematurely when
seven Senators had their legs broken in the mad rush to get
Roger’s autograph. No word yet if Roger has agreed to sign
any of the casts. ,, And that’s today’s headlines and now
it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’. (SMILES )
SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘HEATHER MILLS’, ‘HOWARD K. STERN’, AND ‘ROGER CLEMENS’. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.
REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being International Law Day
we got a panel of shysters for ya all ,
HEATHER
Excuse me Redd! I’m not a shyster anymore! I fired myself
to concentrate on being just a poor poor solo Mum
struggling to make ends meet. ( TEARFULL )
HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS. ‘HEATHER’ STARTS CRYING.
HOWARD
Well I’m sure not a shyster, I’m a highly respected
Entertainment Lawyer and smart blonde bimbo
manager, honest. ( LOOKS SUGGESTIVELY AT HEATHER )
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS,’ HOWARD’ GIVES THE FINGER AND IS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CREAM PIE.
ROGER
And I’m sure not a shyster, shysters aren’t close personal
friends with George W. Bush and the U.S. Senate and get
elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame do they,, Just ask those
lying cheaters Pete Rose and Andy Pettitte!
IN STRUTS ‘PRINCE FREDERIK GABOR’ WEARING ONLY A TOWELL.
PRINCE
Sorry I’m late Redd I had a very important engagement, I
think I just became the daddy of Jamie Lynn and Britney
Spear’s next love childs.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS . ‘PRINCE’ LOOKS CONFUSED AND CUT JUST AS THE TOWELL DROPS REVEALING HE IS WEARING SOILED ASTRONAUT DIAPERS.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Fox News Super Tuesday Dog Show
SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH ‘BILL CLINTON’ PLAYING A SAXOPHONE WITH A BIG SOCK SHOVED IN IT.
FOXY
Bill Clinton appeared on Tyra Banks last night to swear he
would never go so low as to bring up Barack Obama’s
seedy drug record in the election. He said if voters wanted
to trust the words of a crazed pot and coke addict against
the words of he and Hillary, who both never inhaled and
only drank Coke on very special occasions, it was their
Democratic right. When Tyra asked him if he still had
contact with Monica, Bill became very angry yelling at
her that it wasn’t him running for President and then
jumped up and started playing ‘Come Blow Your Horn’
on his saxophone before Hillary rushed on stage and
shoved a sock in it. The couple exchanged stern glances
before Bill apologized and then they both cried, hugged,
and French kissed like their honeymoon never ended to
the sounds of the screaming deaf lesbian audience.
MONITOR CHANGES TO A SLEEPING ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ MUG SHOT.
FOXY
Mike Huckabee’s strongest supporter Chuck Norris
was charged with assault last night after he viciously
attacked Sly Stallone over John McCain’s war policy
on ‘Larry King Live’. Chuck said for an old crazed
steroid junkie Sly fought like an old lady and
immediately challenged him to fight him in the next
‘Rocky’ movie before bragging when Huck wins
the election he has been offered the post of ‘Minister
of Silly Celebrities’ which he promised to take very
seriously indeed. Chuck was then put in a sleeper hold
by Arnold Schwarzenegger to terminate the show and
his political career.
MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘RON PAUL’.
FOXY
Ron Paul announced on Jay Leno last night he has just
accepted George W. Bush’s official endorsement for the
Presidency. He said like George he was just a slow talking,,
fast thinking,, good old Texas boy and the only remaining
candidate smart enough to accept George W.’s approval. He
now expects to raise a billion dollars on the net
tomorrow, win all the remaining primaries, and sweep to
victory as the next Ronald Reagan President. News of
George W.’s endorsement for Ron quickly soared his approval
rating to just above, the margin of error, before slowly
plummeting again once Republicans realized it was no joke.
(MONITOR TURNS OFF ) And that’s today’s headlines and now
it’s time, for ‘Foxx n Friends’.(SMILES )
SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘BILL CLINTON’ IN A ‘CLINTONS FOR PRESIDENTS’ SHIRT, ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ WEARING A ‘HUCK FOR PRES’ SHIRT, AND ‘RON PAUL’ WEARING A ‘ME FOR PREZ’ SHIRT. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.
REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being Super Tuesday we got a
panel of political dogs for ya all,
BILL
Hey Redd I’m not a dog anymore, I’m now very happily
married to the very sexy, beautiful, caring, next co
President and I swear,, I will never,, stray again!
HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘BILL’ LOOKS ANGRY AND ‘GROWLS’ AT THEM. THEY SHUT UP FAST.
CHUCK
Well I’m sure not a political dog Redd, I’m just a great
actor for God’s sake.
HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘CHUCK’ LOOKS ANGRY AND PULLS OUT A GUN, THEY SHUT UP FAST, ‘BILL’ FALLS ASLEEP.
RON
Well I’m definitely not a political dog, I’m Ron Paul,
the next Ronald Reagan of the United States. ( SMILES)
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘ RON’ LOOKS CONFUSED. ‘CHUCK’ FALLS ASLEEP. A BALD ‘JOHN EDWARDS’ WEARING A ‘JOHN FOR VICE PRES’ SHIRT RUSHES IN TO HIS SEAT
JOHN
Sorry I’m late Redd, I was just helping some homeless
vets find a safer bridge to live under. ( SMILES )
REDD
Damn John, I hope that wasn’t an expensive haircut ?
JOHN
Yes it was very expensive, I got scalped by a Washington
Redskin for my Super Bowl and Super Tuesday tickets.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘JOHN’ LOOKS ANGRY, ‘RON’ FALLS ASLEEP’, AND CUT JUST AS ‘JOHN’ GIVES THE AUDIENCE THE FINGER AND IS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CREAM PIE.
FOXY
Bill Clinton appeared on Tyra Banks last night to swear he
would never go so low as to bring up Barack Obama’s
seedy drug record in the election. He said if voters wanted
to trust the words of a crazed pot and coke addict against
the words of he and Hillary, who both never inhaled and
only drank Coke on very special occasions, it was their
Democratic right. When Tyra asked him if he still had
contact with Monica, Bill became very angry yelling at
her that it wasn’t him running for President and then
jumped up and started playing ‘Come Blow Your Horn’
on his saxophone before Hillary rushed on stage and
shoved a sock in it. The couple exchanged stern glances
before Bill apologized and then they both cried, hugged,
and French kissed like their honeymoon never ended to
the sounds of the screaming deaf lesbian audience.
MONITOR CHANGES TO A SLEEPING ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ MUG SHOT.
FOXY
Mike Huckabee’s strongest supporter Chuck Norris
was charged with assault last night after he viciously
attacked Sly Stallone over John McCain’s war policy
on ‘Larry King Live’. Chuck said for an old crazed
steroid junkie Sly fought like an old lady and
immediately challenged him to fight him in the next
‘Rocky’ movie before bragging when Huck wins
the election he has been offered the post of ‘Minister
of Silly Celebrities’ which he promised to take very
seriously indeed. Chuck was then put in a sleeper hold
by Arnold Schwarzenegger to terminate the show and
his political career.
MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘RON PAUL’.
FOXY
Ron Paul announced on Jay Leno last night he has just
accepted George W. Bush’s official endorsement for the
Presidency. He said like George he was just a slow talking,,
fast thinking,, good old Texas boy and the only remaining
candidate smart enough to accept George W.’s approval. He
now expects to raise a billion dollars on the net
tomorrow, win all the remaining primaries, and sweep to
victory as the next Ronald Reagan President. News of
George W.’s endorsement for Ron quickly soared his approval
rating to just above, the margin of error, before slowly
plummeting again once Republicans realized it was no joke.
(MONITOR TURNS OFF ) And that’s today’s headlines and now
it’s time, for ‘Foxx n Friends’.(SMILES )
SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘BILL CLINTON’ IN A ‘CLINTONS FOR PRESIDENTS’ SHIRT, ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ WEARING A ‘HUCK FOR PRES’ SHIRT, AND ‘RON PAUL’ WEARING A ‘ME FOR PREZ’ SHIRT. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.
REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being Super Tuesday we got a
panel of political dogs for ya all,
BILL
Hey Redd I’m not a dog anymore, I’m now very happily
married to the very sexy, beautiful, caring, next co
President and I swear,, I will never,, stray again!
HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘BILL’ LOOKS ANGRY AND ‘GROWLS’ AT THEM. THEY SHUT UP FAST.
CHUCK
Well I’m sure not a political dog Redd, I’m just a great
actor for God’s sake.
HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘CHUCK’ LOOKS ANGRY AND PULLS OUT A GUN, THEY SHUT UP FAST, ‘BILL’ FALLS ASLEEP.
RON
Well I’m definitely not a political dog, I’m Ron Paul,
the next Ronald Reagan of the United States. ( SMILES)
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘ RON’ LOOKS CONFUSED. ‘CHUCK’ FALLS ASLEEP. A BALD ‘JOHN EDWARDS’ WEARING A ‘JOHN FOR VICE PRES’ SHIRT RUSHES IN TO HIS SEAT
JOHN
Sorry I’m late Redd, I was just helping some homeless
vets find a safer bridge to live under. ( SMILES )
REDD
Damn John, I hope that wasn’t an expensive haircut ?
JOHN
Yes it was very expensive, I got scalped by a Washington
Redskin for my Super Bowl and Super Tuesday tickets.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘JOHN’ LOOKS ANGRY, ‘RON’ FALLS ASLEEP’, AND CUT JUST AS ‘JOHN’ GIVES THE AUDIENCE THE FINGER AND IS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CREAM PIE.
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