Fox News Shyster Dog Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND MONITOR BEHIND HER HAS A PICTURE OF A CRYING ‘HEATHER MILLS’.

FOXY
A tearful Heather Mills fired herself as her lawyer last night
after crying all day about only getting fifty odd million of
Sir Paul’s easy earned money. Heather claimed she was just to
nice and honest to be a lawyer and is now even refusing to pay
her own legal bill which she described as, Bloody Extravagent !
When Sir Paul heard the news he was very surprised saying with
her lying, greedy, despicable personality he thought she made a
great shyster and had already recommended her to Prince Zsa Zsa
Gabor, Yoko Ono, and Roger Clemens.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘HOWARD K. STERN’ STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT.

- Baby Dannielynn’s lawyer Howard K. Stern told Larry
King last night he is now representing his very good friend
and protégé Sam Lutfi in a bid to get back control of Britney
Spears from her greedy parents. He said Sam was doing
a great job with Britney giving her just the right
amount of drugs to keep her sane and was just about to
kick start her career again by teaching her to talk like
Posh Spice so she could star in her very own Fox Reality
Series. When Larry asked Howard if he and Larry had
kissed and made up yet, Howard blushed and admitted they
had, but then stressed, there was no tongue,,yet.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘ ROGER CLEMENS’ STICKING TONGUE OUT.

- Roger Clemens announced at a U.S. Senate party last
night he is now starting divorce proceedings against his
wife after he learnt she had taken Human Growth
Hormone. He told the tipsy Senators she had assured him
it was just the same vitamin B and linseed oil he had been
shooting up and like a fool, he believed his wife. The Senate
then rose and gave him a standing ovation and exonerated him
off all charges before announcing they will now investigate
alleged steroid abuse amongst Hollywood porn starlets and
Country music stars. The party then ended prematurely when
seven Senators had their legs broken in the mad rush to get
Roger’s autograph. No word yet if Roger has agreed to sign
any of the casts. ,, And that’s today’s headlines and now
it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’. (SMILES )

SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘HEATHER MILLS’, ‘HOWARD K. STERN’, AND ‘ROGER CLEMENS’. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being International Law Day
we got a panel of shysters for ya all ,

HEATHER
Excuse me Redd! I’m not a shyster anymore! I fired myself
to concentrate on being just a poor poor solo Mum
struggling to make ends meet. ( TEARFULL )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS. ‘HEATHER’ STARTS CRYING.

HOWARD
Well I’m sure not a shyster, I’m a highly respected
Entertainment Lawyer and smart blonde bimbo
manager, honest. ( LOOKS SUGGESTIVELY AT HEATHER )

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS,’ HOWARD’ GIVES THE FINGER AND IS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CREAM PIE.

ROGER
And I’m sure not a shyster, shysters aren’t close personal
friends with George W. Bush and the U.S. Senate and get
elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame do they,, Just ask those
lying cheaters Pete Rose and Andy Pettitte!

IN STRUTS ‘PRINCE FREDERIK GABOR’ WEARING ONLY A TOWELL.

PRINCE
Sorry I’m late Redd I had a very important engagement, I
think I just became the daddy of Jamie Lynn and Britney
Spear’s next love childs.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS . ‘PRINCE’ LOOKS CONFUSED AND CUT JUST AS THE TOWELL DROPS REVEALING HE IS WEARING SOILED ASTRONAUT DIAPERS.