10 things Fox TV has taught me about America

10 things Fox TV has taught me about America

1- There is a big country above America called Canada which
is to blame for all the cold weather, snow, and power
outages in America and also harbors many immigrant
terrorists who blend in by learning to watch hockey, drink
beer, and say “it’s cold eh” all at the same time, and are
now smuggling themselves into America by hiding inside
containers of B.C Bud which has prompted the F.B.I. to
urge citizens to turn in stoners who like hockey to the
authorities or shoot them.

2- Every American Football fan was thoroughly disgusted at
star quarterpack Michael Vick when he was busted at
Miami Airport when they found a secret compartment in
his water bottle smelt of weed because in American Football
weed is a far more serious offense than steroids,
amphetamines, cocaine and illegal guns, but fortunately for
Michael the charges were later dropped or else he would
have had to go play in the Canadian Football League and
say “it’s cold eh” with Ricky Williams.

3- Below America is a country called Mexico where heaps of
Mexicans sneak across the border to steal lots of low paying
crap jobs that Americans won’t do but now George Bush
has a cunning plan to build a huge wall to keep them out
which has led to an influx of Mexicans smuggling
themselves in by hiding in bundles of Mexican Brick Weed
in the dream of getting a wall building job.

4- Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl nipple caused American TV to
adopt a seven second delay on all live TV events and now a
dog loving Senator from Texas wants to adopt the seven
second rule for the internet after his wife found twenty
seven pictures of Britney Spears’s cat on his computer.

5- Donald Trump and Rosie O’ Donnell had a huge feud going
on to increase ratings for ‘The View’ and ‘The Apprentice’
but now Donald doesn’t care for Rosie anymore as he
dumped her to show his love for bad beauty queens to
increase ratings for ‘Miss Teen USA’. ( I don’t blame him
as in my shallow books when it cums to love you just can’t
beat bad beauty queens and naughty cheerleaders )

6- Donald Trump is a very rich man but such a tightwad he
still wears a twenty year old dog hair piece rather than
buy the good stuff like Elton John, James Brown, and
Lassie.

7- Each day another politician announces they are forming
an Exploratory Committee to see if they can become
President and by the time of the election in November
2008 every politician including dark horses Sonny Bono,
Ronald Reagan, and ‘The Terminator’, will have set up
an Exploratory Committee to see how much money they
can fleece out of local suckers and tobacco companies.

8- American Football is played with the hands and takes
sixty minutes to play which consists of twenty minutes
actual playing time, two hours of commercials, and a half
time show to rival a nippleless Janet Jackson concert
and is played by very speedy three hundred pound guys
that don’t smoke weed.

9- O.J. Simpson is a former star football player and
innocent murderer who had a TV interview and
book publication cancelled by Fox after it was alleged
that someone saw him smoking weed on a Mexican golf
course.

10- Fox TV is controlled by an Aussie bloke named Rupert
Murdoch who loves war, football, and George Bush, but
strongly disapproves of Canada, Mexico, and “all those
left wing pinko commie loving pot smoking
Democrat poofter bastards”.