Fox News Super Tuesday Dog Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH ‘BILL CLINTON’ PLAYING A SAXOPHONE WITH A BIG SOCK SHOVED IN IT.

FOXY
Bill Clinton appeared on Tyra Banks last night to swear he
would never go so low as to bring up Barack Obama’s
seedy drug record in the election. He said if voters wanted
to trust the words of a crazed pot and coke addict against
the words of he and Hillary, who both never inhaled and
only drank Coke on very special occasions, it was their
Democratic right. When Tyra asked him if he still had
contact with Monica, Bill became very angry yelling at
her that it wasn’t him running for President and then
jumped up and started playing ‘Come Blow Your Horn’
on his saxophone before Hillary rushed on stage and
shoved a sock in it. The couple exchanged stern glances
before Bill apologized and then they both cried, hugged,
and French kissed like their honeymoon never ended to
the sounds of the screaming deaf lesbian audience.

MONITOR CHANGES TO A SLEEPING ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ MUG SHOT.

FOXY
Mike Huckabee’s strongest supporter Chuck Norris
was charged with assault last night after he viciously
attacked Sly Stallone over John McCain’s war policy
on ‘Larry King Live’. Chuck said for an old crazed
steroid junkie Sly fought like an old lady and
immediately challenged him to fight him in the next
‘Rocky’ movie before bragging when Huck wins
the election he has been offered the post of ‘Minister
of Silly Celebrities’ which he promised to take very
seriously indeed. Chuck was then put in a sleeper hold
by Arnold Schwarzenegger to terminate the show and
his political career.

MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘RON PAUL’.

FOXY
Ron Paul announced on Jay Leno last night he has just
accepted George W. Bush’s official endorsement for the
Presidency. He said like George he was just a slow talking,,
fast thinking,, good old Texas boy and the only remaining
candidate smart enough to accept George W.’s approval. He
now expects to raise a billion dollars on the net
tomorrow, win all the remaining primaries, and sweep to
victory as the next Ronald Reagan President. News of
George W.’s endorsement for Ron quickly soared his approval
rating to just above, the margin of error, before slowly
plummeting again once Republicans realized it was no joke.
(MONITOR TURNS OFF ) And that’s today’s headlines and now
it’s time, for ‘Foxx n Friends’.(SMILES )

SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘BILL CLINTON’ IN A ‘CLINTONS FOR PRESIDENTS’ SHIRT, ‘CHUCK NORRIS’ WEARING A ‘HUCK FOR PRES’ SHIRT, AND ‘RON PAUL’ WEARING A ‘ME FOR PREZ’ SHIRT. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today being Super Tuesday we got a
panel of political dogs for ya all,

BILL
Hey Redd I’m not a dog anymore, I’m now very happily
married to the very sexy, beautiful, caring, next co
President and I swear,, I will never,, stray again!

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘BILL’ LOOKS ANGRY AND ‘GROWLS’ AT THEM. THEY SHUT UP FAST.

CHUCK
Well I’m sure not a political dog Redd, I’m just a great
actor for God’s sake.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘CHUCK’ LOOKS ANGRY AND PULLS OUT A GUN, THEY SHUT UP FAST, ‘BILL’ FALLS ASLEEP.

RON
Well I’m definitely not a political dog, I’m Ron Paul,
the next Ronald Reagan of the United States. ( SMILES)

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘ RON’ LOOKS CONFUSED. ‘CHUCK’ FALLS ASLEEP. A BALD ‘JOHN EDWARDS’ WEARING A ‘JOHN FOR VICE PRES’ SHIRT RUSHES IN TO HIS SEAT


JOHN
Sorry I’m late Redd, I was just helping some homeless
vets find a safer bridge to live under. ( SMILES )

REDD
Damn John, I hope that wasn’t an expensive haircut ?

JOHN
Yes it was very expensive, I got scalped by a Washington
Redskin for my Super Bowl and Super Tuesday tickets.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘JOHN’ LOOKS ANGRY, ‘RON’ FALLS ASLEEP’, AND CUT JUST AS ‘JOHN’ GIVES THE AUDIENCE THE FINGER AND IS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CREAM PIE.