NOT THE NAPPY HEADED HO FOX NEWS
( think cheap animation )
SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BEHIND HER IS MONITOR WITH A PIC OF ‘DON IMUS’
FOXY
Shock jock Don Imus appeared on MTV today to sincerely apologize to
the young audience for apologizing so much on radio and TV for calling
the Rutgers womens basketball players nappy headed hoes telling the
young hipsters that those nappy headed hoes are some hot sexy bitches
that no honky stud dude like himself would ever turn down for cheap
sexual favours.
DON
Ya Foxy those nappy headed ho ballplayers are hotter than a used crack
pipe and I for one sure wouldn’t kick them out of my bed for double
dribbling on my sheets I tell ya .
A BASKETBALL HITS ‘DON’ ON THE HEAD.
DON
OUCH !!
WIFE ( angry voice only )
That’s it I want a divorce, AND, I want my hair back !
HER ARM APPEARS FROM ABOVE AND RIPS ‘DON’S’ HAIR OFF LEAVING HIM BALD AND SCREAMING.
FOXY
Ouch Don, that was a rather hair raising experience. ( SMILES )
MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO A SMOKING BRITISH HOSTAGE ‘FAYE TURNER’ DRESSED IN MUSLIM GEAR AND STANDING ON A RUGBY FIELD.
FOXY
British hostage star Faye Turner announced today she has just agreed
to be the new spokes sailor for ‘Players Navy Cut’ cigarettes and has
also signed a three year deal to play hooker for the England Rugby team.
England’s rugby coach Brian Ashton said he was sure with Faye leading
the scrum the boys would get right in behind her and turn the scrum
from a bunch of nappy headed pansies to a tight core of hardened
men, just like a boatload of British sailors.
FAYE
Yes Foxy I’m so excited about getting paid heaps to be a smoker and a
hooker for England as it’s beyond my wildest dreams as a lowly third
class seaman to be able to represent my country as a highly paid
nappy headed smoking hooker, it’s soooo exciting, I’m getting wet in
anticipation .
WHISTLE BLOWS AND ‘FAYE’ CATCHES A RUGBY BALL AND THEN IS PILED ON BY THE ENTIRE ‘NEW ZEALAND ALL BLACKS’ RUGBY TEAM.
FOXY
Darn, I would hate to be a hooker for the All Blacks, those boys look
big, mmmm
MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘HOWARD K. STERN’.
FOXY
In her first press conference since finding out Larry Birkhead was her
daddy, baby Dannielynn told a rowdy Bahamas lawyer convention she
is set to leave Larry after he called her a spoiled brat and nappy headed
ball player. Speaking for her, lawyer Howard K. Stern told the cheering
crowd that baby Dannielynn is now looking for a nice honest moral lawyer
who will handle all her book, movie, magazine, and talk show offers and
invest all her millions in get rich quick schemes and expensive legal
advice.
HOWARD
Yes Foxy baby Dannielynn told me she didn’t think stooge Larry was up
to it mentally to be her daddy and manager and begged me to take her
back which after much soul searching I agreed to just for the sake of
her future financial well being as I myself won’t be making one penny
out of her
SUDDENLY ‘HOWARD’ GETS HIT HARD BY A BASKETBALL .
HOWARD
OUCH ! That hurt you nappy headed old ho !
LARRY ( voice only )
Good shot Vergie, good shot !
VERGIE ( voice only )
Thank you Larry, my beautiful new son in law.
SUDDENLY A STEAMY SOILED DIAPER LANDS ON ‘HOWARD’S’ HEAD AND HEAR BABY LAUGHING.
LARRY ( voice only )
Wow good shot Dannielynn, you are going to make a great ball player
one day.
DANNIELYNN ( voice only )
Goo goo gaga Howard, you nappy headed shyster.
FOXY
Darn, kids grow up way to fast these days.
DANNIELYNN ( voice only )
Goo goo gaga Foxy, you can say that again.
HEAR BABY LAUGHS AND ‘LARRY’ AND ‘VIRGIE’ LAUGHS AS ‘HOWARD’ SIMMERS WITH STEAMY DIAPER. MONITOR TURNS OFF.
FOXY
And that’s today’s news headlines and now back to ‘Foxx n Friends’
SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SITTING IN CHAIR IS ‘DON IMUS’ WEARING AN AFRO WIG AND A HAWAIIN SHIRT.
REDD
Damn, must have been a crap day for news.
DON
Hey Redd you like my new hair, does it make me look young and hip ?
REDD
Only if your name is Reverend Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson.
DON
Well, I feel a bit dark, and, I love hoes and God.
REDD
OK well we’ll call you the Reverend Don Ho.
DON
Sounds cool, could be a new career on religious talkback, I must call
Al tomorrow.
SUDDENLY THE ‘RUTGERS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL TEAM’ RUSH IN AND START PUMMELING ‘DON’.
REDD
Damn girls, you still sore about that nappy headed ho jibe.
GIRL
Hell no Redd, we were hired as enforcers by Rev Al and Jesse to
stamp out bigoted talkback competition.
HEAR A LOUD SCUFFLE OFFSTAGE.
JOYCE ( angry voice only )
I told you boys, I’m not THAT kind of hooker !
‘FAYE’ RUNS THROUGH SET WEARING ‘ENGLAND’ RUGBY GEAR AND SEE IS BEING CHASED BY,,,, THREE MEMBERS OF THE ‘DUKE LACROSSE TEAM’ . CUT !
