Not the Foxx O'Clock Easter News

NOT THE FOXX’O CLOCK EASTER NEWS
( think cheap ‘South Park’ animation )

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND MONITOR BEHIND HER A PICTURE OF ‘CHOCOLATE JESUS’

FOXY
New York celebrated Easter Friday by unveiling ‘Chocolate Jesus’ in
‘Times Square’ where he was promptly nailed with a public indecency
charge after he became erect after being licked by Madonna. The
court date is set down for Easter Monday where prosecutors and his
lawyers are hoping to crucify him for all he’s worth.

JESUS
Yes Foxy, it’s sacrilege how much those damn lawyers charge for
working on Easter, and, who the hell called it GOOD friday anyways,
it sure wasn’t a good day for me as it brings back very painful memories
and I swear Foxy, if I get crucified in court over this trumped up charge
I will stage a hunger strike and die a martyr rather than melt away in
some American jail.

FOXY
Jesus, I sure hope you have good lawyers.

JESUS
Yes Foxy they assured me they were the best, do the names Larry
Birkhead’s former lawyer and Howard K. Stern mean anything to
you?

FOXY
Yes, it means you will be poor dead Jesus.

JESUS
Damn, how could those lawyers lie to me ?

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘FAYE TURNEY ‘ THE BRITISH FEMALE SAILOR HOSTAGE.

FOXY
The British hostages were welcomed home to more humiliation today when
U-Tube showed footage of their appearance on an Iranian TV talent show lip
syncing and dancing to Britain’s entry in the Eurovision Song Contest,
‘Fly the Flag For You’ . After the song finished all fifteen hostages broke
down and cried when they realized Britain had no chance of winning the
Eurovision Song Contest and that their careers as TV entertainers was
virtually over.

FAYE
Yes Foxy it was soooo embarrassing as we didn’t even have a rehearsal
and the song were so banal and stupid and we had to dance and clap like
seals on speed trying to keep up to the beat, it was the most vile
disgusting act I’ve ever had to do , and, I’m a sailor, and, mother of
a three year old. ( SHUDDERS IN DISGUST )


FOXY
Well it couldn’t have been that bad as it says you came third.

FAYE
There was only two other acts.

FOXY
Oh right.

FAYE
And, they were both dumb dancing donkey acts.

FOXY
Yes I’ve heard they love their stupid asses over there. ( SMILES )

FAYE
Oh hee haw Foxy, Hee bloody haw !

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘PRINCE PHILIP’ IN NAVY GEAR.

FOXY
The Queen of England’s urging Britains not to watch the ‘South Park’
episode in which she shoots herself has backfired on her when the
episode received record ratings beating last year’s ‘Eurovision Song
Contest’ by over ten million peasants. ‘South Park’ are now planning
an episode where more members of the Royal Family are killed off by
an Iranian suicide donkey bomber at the ‘Eurovision Song Contest’.

PRINCE
Yes Foxy and speaking for the Royal Family I pledge if ‘South Park’
go ahead with the ‘Eurovision Song Contest’ killings I will personally
send a boatload of sailors over to America to hunt them down, and
then, sue them for all they are bloody well worth, we will see who has
the last laugh in court.

FOXY
Sure hope you have good lawyers Prince.

PRINCE
Bloody right we do, do the names Debra Opri and Howard K. Stern
ring a bell.

FOXY
Yes Prince, an alarm bell, I’d hide the family jewels if I was you.

PRINCE
No worries about that Foxy, the old girl forbids me from wearing
kilts these days, something about saggage if you know what I mean,
wink wink nudge nudge.

FOXY
Oh Prince you are so cheeky, now I see what Anna Nicole and
Zsa Zsa saw in you .

PRINCE LOOKS CONFUSED AND MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s head lines and now back to ‘Foxx n Friends’

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED IN CHAIRS ARE ‘MADONNA’ DRESSED AS A “VIRGIN” WITH LOTS OF WHITE “CHOCOLATE” AROUND HER MOUTH, ‘CHOCOLATE JESUS’ LOOKING VERY “HAPPY”, ‘HOWARD K. STERN’, AND ‘KEITH RICHARDS’ SMOKING A JOINT.

REDD
Damn Madonna, you do that so well for a virgin.

MADONNA
Virgin ?The only virgin I am is a virgin on the ridiculous, ( LICKS LIPS )
mmm Jesus, god you taste so yummy mmmmmm.

JESUS
Ohhhhh Madonna, for that act you get a free ticket to heaven and
when you cum you can stay at my joint, mmmmm , has anyone got a
smoke ?

KEITH PASSES JESUS THE JOINT.

REDD
Damn, heaven is sure looking good, hope I get a free ticket Jesus.

JESUS
Sorry Redd, no comics allowed, they are too cynical.

REDD
Damn it,, I don’t believe in it anyways.

JESUS
Yes I know.

REDD
Damn !

HOWARD
What about me Jesus, surely your lawyer must get a free ticket to
Heaven, because I believe, I believe, honest.

EVERYONE LAUGHS AT ‘HOWARD’ AND HEAR DOG BARKS.

HOWARD
Hey what’s so funny, I’m dead serious.

EVERYONE LAUGHS AGAIN AND MORE DOG BARKS.

JESUS
Haha are you joking Howard, lawyers aren’t even allowed into
Hell hahahaha.

KEITH
How about me Jesus, I’m a drug addict, a sleazy rock star, I fall out
of Cocoa Nut trees , and, I snorted my father’s ashes, do I get in ?

JESUS
Yes of coarse Keith, heaven loves musicians.

KEITH ( excited )
Yes !!! ( GIVES HOWARD THE FINGER )

REDD
Damn don’t we get any music in hell ?

JESUS
Yes of coarse you do Redd, you get two kinds of music.

REDD
Oh great,, please tell me it’s blues and jazz.

JESUS
Sorry no, you get country, and ,, western hahahaha.

REDD
Jesus ,damn it damn it, that’s unfair !

JESUS
Haha that’s funny , that’s exactly what John Belushi said after I
told him.( TAKES ANOTHER TOKE ) Gee Keith this cigarette sure tastes funny.

KEITH
Ya well it should, I rolled it with high grade clown ashes.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, CUT !