Not the Fox News Comedy Show 6

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH ‘POSH SPICE’ ON.

FOXY
The Los Angeles riot squad had to be called out last night to the posh
Beckham palace after an estimated ten thousand gay paparazzi started
bickering over vantage points after Posh phoned in Ryan Seacrest to tell
him that her and David still practiced the quaint old English custom of walking around their home naked at night. Fortunately the crowd dispersed quickly before the riot squad arrived after a fully clothed Tom Cruise’s
wife emerged from the house preaching Scientology.,,, So Posh,are you
surprised how popular you and David are in Los Angeles ?

POSH
No not at all Foxy cause after all I was the leader of the greatest English
girl band in music history, we are like the girl Beatles and I’m like the girl
John Lennon coming to America to spread peace, love, fashion, and a
'Spice Girls' reunion tour.(GIVES PEACE SIGN EXCEPT IT’S THE OBSCENE WRONG WAY)

DAVID ( Mickey Mouse voice only )
Can I go out and play soccer dear ?

POSH ( annoyed )
Ya but put some clothes on, I don’t want people to see you are BUILT
like a mouse too.

DAVID ( v.o. )
Hey I just got out of a cold shower, quit taking the mickey out of me.

POSH
Right go away and play, you are hogging my spotlight,, Minnie.

POSH GETS HIT HARD IN THE HEAD WITH SOCCER BALL AND GETS KNOCKED OUT.

FOXY
Well good to see David still has the balls to put her down.

HEAR A ‘MICKEY MOUSE’ LAUGH. MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘NICOLE RITCHIE’.

FOXY
After a hard weekend partying with Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie announced
last night she has decided to accept a plea bargain for her D.U.I. charge
and will enter jail just before midnight sometime in the next few weeks. She
told Ryan Seacrest it was a great opportunity for more ‘Simple Life’
publicity and a free three week strict rehab for her and her baby, and that
both of them were really looking forward to coming out reborn and drug free,
just like Paris.,,,,So Nicole that’s a brave decision, are you ready for the
slammer?

NICOLE
Yes Foxy I’ll be ready in a few weeks or so, I hear the food is bad so I’m
looking forward to losing a few pounds in there, I hate being a fatty.

FOXY
Nicole you’re not fat, you make a pencil look bloated.

NICOLE
Why thanks Foxy, but last month I gained something like three pounds, I
blame it on my baby as it eats way to much, I’m sick of my baby now I
think I might give it to Madonna, she wants more babies doesn’t she?

FOXY
I think she only wants black ones.

NICOLE
Well that’s ok cause the daddy of mine is black.

FOXY
Wow really do tell, whose the daddy?

NICOLE
Sorry Foxy my lips are sealed until I get hold of him, he refuses to take
my calls now. ( GAGS ) Whoops sorry Foxy I have to go now I have
to be sick, I hate morning sickness and hangovers, they suck. ( GAGS )

‘NICOLE’ RUSHES OFF.

FOXY
I can see she’s going to make one sick mother.

MONITOR CHANGES TO THE TWO YEAR OLD TOT WHO SHOT TO FAME ON HER MOTHERS Utube VIDEO PRETENDING SHE WAS ON ECSTASY.

FOXY
‘Ecstasy Child’ the two year old tot who shot to fame acting like she was
on E on her mom’s Utube video has just been signed to join the cast of
A.B.C.’ S new hilarious Caveman sitcom. Her manager and mother told
‘High Times’ magazine Ecstasy will be playing a hip illegal alien weed
addict who is adopted into the Caveman’s dwelling to stop all the gay
rumours being spread by their Neanderthal neighbors. Production will
start as soon as they both complete rehab and sign a book deal.,,, Wow
Ecstasy are you looking forward to being a big TV star?

ECSTASY
Na not really Foxy but mum sure is, she’s already writing my acceptance
speech for next years best drama actress in a comedy series Emmy, I
thank everyone especially my mum, manager, and Jesus, I got to go now
Foxy I got a bad case of da munchies, mmmmmmm.

WE HEAR HER MOTHER COUGH AND SMOKE BLOWS ON TO ‘ECSTASY’S’ FACE. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
Darn, Hollywood actresses grow up way to fast these days.,, And that’s
today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO ‘FOXX n FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘NICOLE RITCHIE’, ‘POSH SPICE’ READING ‘SKINNY BITCH’ BOOK, AND ‘ECSTASY CHILD’.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a real skinny celebrity line up for ya all,

NICOLE
Hey I’m not a skinny celebrity Redd, I gained like three pounds last month,
helloooo.

POSH
I may be skinny but my boobs are huge, and yes, they are not real.

‘POSH’ PUSHES CHEST OUT TO AUDIENCE WOLF WHISTLES AND DOG HOWLS.

ECSTASY
I can’t wait till I can afford a boob job, mum says I’ll be a famous titty
tot just like Posh Spice.

POSH
Bloody hell, kids sure grow up fast in Hollywood.

NICOLE
Heck ya, my baby has been drinking and smoking since it was just a gleam
in Eddie Murphy’s eye,, whoops, sorry Eddie.

POSH
Bloody hell Eddie Murphy sure gets around, he’s the daddy of Sporty
Spice’s baby too.

ECSTASY
Ya he’s my daddy too, but mum can’t get him to take a D.N.A. test.
( GRINS BIG JUST LIKE EDDIE MURPHY )

REDD
Damn I’m going to have to have a word with Eddie, I got enough
grandkids already. ( GRINS BIG JUST LIKE EDDIE MURPHY )

NICOLE’S STOMACH ( Eddie Murphy’s voice )
Help Gramps get me out, I’m starving to bloody death in here!

ALL LOOK AT NICOLE’S STOMACH IN SHOCK. SUDDENLY EDDIE MURPHY STANDS UP GRINNING FROM BEHIND HER CHAIR .

EDDIE
Haha scared ya Dad.

‘REDD’ PRETENDS HE IS HAVING HEART ATTACK, HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS SUDDENLY ‘MICHAEL VICK’ APPEARS RUNNING THROUGH SCARED.

MICHAEL
HELP HELP call my agent! the press are hounding me to death !

MICHEAL RUNS OUT OF SCENE QUICKLY AND ON RUNS A GROUP OF ANGRY PITBULLS WEARING ‘PRESS’ CAPS CHASING HIM.

REDD
Man, Michael sure is getting a RUFF time lately . ( GRINS )

EDDIE
Ya them news hounds can be vicious. ( FROWNS )

WE HEAR 'MICHAEL' SCREAMING AS THE HOUNDS HAVE CAUGHT HIM AND THEN HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND CUT JUST AS A DISHELVED LOOKING ‘NICK NOLTE’ WALKS ON CARRYING A SUITCASE.