Not the Fox News Dog Comedy Show 4

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER ON MONITOR IS A SMILING ‘LINDSAY LOHAN’.

FOXY
In her first exclusive sober tv interview Lindsay Lohan told Larry
King last night that getting sober in Utah really was a sobering
experience but well worth it as she found God, her Dad, and a new
boyfriend there and has now come out being a very staunch Mitt
Romney supporter. Lindsay said she now wants to devout herself to
being a good girl role model like her mentor Paris Hilton and now her
and Paris are already planning a trip to Africa to get filmed feeding
some starving aids kids and meeting Nelson Mandela and a rugby team.,,
Wow Lindsay, so when are you and Paris off to Africa to feed the starving kids ?

LINDSAY
As soon as I spend my few hours jail time and Paris can sober up again
haha, ( HICCUPS ) Whoops, excuse me.

FOXY
You haven’t been drinking again have you Lindsay ?

LINDSAY
Hell no Foxy ! I’m drunk on Jesus now.

‘LINDSAY’ SMILES AND KISSES ‘BIBLE’ AND HICCUPS. MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘MARION JONES’.

FOXY
Champion Gold Medal drug runner Marion Jones surprised everyone
last night by telling Larry King the Gold Medals she returned don’t
mean a thing to her anymore as she cheerfully announced she was
now three months pregnant. Marion said she met the proud daddy
at her doctors while getting vitamin shots and now will wait for the
d.n.a. test to prove the proud daddy is Barry Bonds, Eddie Murphy, or
Gary Coleman, as all of them are now refusing to return her calls…
Wow Marion, Barry, Eddie, Gary, you got all the bases covered girl!

MARION
Haha ya Foxy, well, I gambled on at least one still being sterile, and,
I’m a praying girl it ain’t Gary Coleman!

‘MARION’ KISSES BIBLE AND LAUGHS. MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘RITA COSBY’ HOLDING ‘BLONDE AMBITION’ BOOK UP.

FOXY
Anna Nicole’s unauthorized biographer Rita Cosby rang up Ryan
Seacrest from The Bahamas last night to announce she has hired top
attorney Debra Opri to sue the panties off Larry Birkhead and Howard
K. Stern for saying she was a vicious lying bitch for claiming they
starred in a sleazy gay porn tape. Rita said if anybody was a vicious
lying bitch it was the poor Haitian nannies who accepted thousands of
her publisher’s hard earned American Dollars to lie, though, she seriously
doubted the nannies would ever lie as she described them as being very
friendly honest black Mary Poppin types.,,, Wow Rita, hiring Debra Opri
sounds a cunning move.

RITA
Yes Foxy, she loathes Larry and Howard so much she agreed to take
the case for expenses only, thank God I found such a reasonable lawyer.

FOXY
Well you better be careful Rita, I don’t think Larry was thanking God
when he got his expenses bill.

’RITA WIPES THE SMILE OF HER FACE AND LOOKS VERY WORRIED. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.
( SMILES )

SHOT GOES TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘LINDSAY LOHAN’ CLUTCHING A BIBLE, ‘RITA COSBY’ CLUTCHING ‘BLONDE AMBITION’ BOOK, AND ‘MARION JONES’ CLUTCHING BIBLE. THERE IS AN EMPTY SEAT.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a panel of fallen stars for ya all,

LINDSAY
Hey Redd, I haven’t fallen, I’ll be bigger than ever once I do a few
hours jail time. ( HICCUPS AND KISSES BIBLE, SMILES AND BURPS )

RITA
And I sure haven’t fallen, this is the most I’ve been on tv since my
glory year at M.S.N.B.C. ( CHEESY SMILE AND HOLDS UP ‘BLONDE AMBITION’ BOOK )

MARION
Ya what’s this about fallen Redd, just cause a fast girl gets pregnant
and does a few hours slammer time it doesn’t make her fallen bro.

REDD
Well it does if Garry Coleman is the proud daddy sister!

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND ON STAGGERS A DRUNK ‘DANNY DONADUCE’ CARRYING A DRUNK ‘ BRITNEY SPEARS’ ON HIS SHOULDERS CARRYING A DRINK.

BRITNEY
Sorry I’m late Redd, I forgot my panties, hehehe

‘DANNY’ STUMBLES SENDING ‘BRITNEY’ FLYING HEAD FIRST TOWARDS ‘LINDSAY’ AND CUT JUST AS WE SEE SHE IS WEARING NO PANTIES TO AUDIENCE CHEERS AND DOG BARKS.