The Yesterday Show 2

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A PIC OF ‘BILL ENGLISH’ HOLDING A BIG BOTTLE OF ‘BITTER’ BEER.

FOXY
Labour released another secret Bill English tape last
night, this one with Bill saying if John Key blows the
election he’ll take over leadership again faster than
you can say Don Brash and lead the party to a
resounding victory in 2012 on the promise of change.
Today a hung over Bill English apologized for the
statement saying he was a bit tipsy and just joking
around as everybody knows John Key is the best damn
leader National has had since the heady days of Don
Brash’s predecessor. Bill then vowed to never again
get drunk at National Conferences or in the presence
of John Key or sleazy Labour spies with sleazy hidden
tape recorders.

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PIC OF ‘SIR ROGER DOUGLAS’ HOLDING CHAMPAGNE GLASS.

Sir Roger Douglas closed ACT’S barnstorming South
Island tour last night with a subdued reception at a half
packed Gore Workingmans Club tearoom telling the
enthralled throng not to worry as when he gets elected
Finance Minister again he will immediately solve New
Zealand and the world’s recession with a very cunning
plan of free market gone wild. When an old Pit Bull
from the crowd barked out, “how the hell would that
work”, Roger growled at her and refused to divulge
any details in the fear another party would steal his
cunning plan and sweep to power leaving him and poor
old Rodney outside parliament to sadly watch the
countries moral and financial ruin. The meeting then
came to an abrupt halt when a Greyhound arrived to
take the six old ladies and four dogs back home.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘JOHN KEY’ HOLDING CHAMPAGNE GLASS.

John Key told a packed Remuera bar last night that
debating Helen Clark was like trying to talk sense to a
mad Pit Bull with lipstick, no matter what you say she
will just bark over you and attack. MC Bill English said
that was further proof that John was so much like Barack
Obama it was scary as both hate Pit Bulls with lipstick,
are almost the same age, and both will win back power
from the pinko lefties with their promise of change.
When a lone heckler yelled out that unlike John, Obama
was a black “pinko lefty”, a good speaker, and was
actually intelligent, Bill became enraged and smashed
the offenders tape recorder and had Rodney Hide
forcibly remove Michael Cullen from the bar before the
cheering crowd of drunk bankers, lawyers, and TVNZ
executives. ,, And that’s today’s news and now it’s
time for ‘The Yesterday Show’ with the sexy and sassy
Henry Paul. (SMILES)

SHOT TO CHEAP SET WITH ‘HENRY’ AND SEATED ARE ‘JOHN KEY’ DRINKING CHAMPAGNE, ‘SIR ROGER DOUGLAS’ DRINKING CHAMPAGNE AND ‘BILL ENGLISH’ DRINKING A LARGE BOTTLE OF ‘BITTER’ BEER. THERE ARE TWO EMPTY SEATS.

HENRY
Thanks Foxy, and today we have the new co leaders from
our brand new coalition government,

JOHN
Umm actually Henry I’m the leader leader, the other
guys are just kind of co second leaders. ( SMILES )

ROGER
Well I’m in charge of finances so I guess that makes me
second in charge. ( SMILES )

BILL (angry )
Hey no way Roger, I’m the Minister for Racing, AND,
more importantly, The Minister for the Environment,
so I think,, that makes ME number two!

ROGER
Yes Bill, I can smell you from here. ( SMILES )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS ‘BILL’ SCOWLS AND IN WALTZ ‘WINSTON PETERS’ AND ‘TARIANA TURIA’ HOLDING HANDS AND IN LOVE. ‘WINSTON’ IS WEARING A ‘DEPUTY’ BADGE AND HOLDING CASK OF ‘WINE BOX THUNDER’.

WINSTON
Sorry we are late boys, I have just had to explain to
Tariana about the intimate in and outs of foreign affairs,
wink wink. ( SMUG SMILE )

TARIANA
Yes, did you know, you can see Alaska, Russia, and a
painting of dogs playing poker, from Sarah Palin’s bed ?

WINSTON
Shhh Tariana, I don’t want all my secret affairs cuming
out in public, there are many unscrupulous media hounds
out there who would just kill for the chance of making
dog meat out of poor old Winston. ( SMILES )

HEAR AUDIENCE CHEERS AND DOG BARKS. SCREEN TURNS OFF JUST BEFORE ‘WINSTON’ GETS HIT IN THE HEAD BY A FLYING BOTTLE OF ‘BITTER’ BEER AND SHOT GOES TO ‘RODNEY HIDE’ IN YELLOW SUIT WITH REMOTE AND ‘PITA SHARPLES’. THEY ARE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE.

RODNEY ( angry )
What a bloody farce, Sir Roger promised me foreign
affairs, he even gave me Sarah Palin and Nicky
Watson’s email addresses !

PITA
Ya I got suckered in too, John Key promised me Maori
Affairs and Immigration, I mean, what the hell does
Winston Peters know about Maori affairs and
immigration!

RODNEY ( turning green )
Don’t mention Winston!! I get very angry !!

GLASS BREAKS IN HIS HAND, SUIT STARTS POPPING LIKE THE ‘INCREDIBLE HULK’ AND A SIGN FLOPS DOWN WITH A VOICE OVER.

VOICE
The preceding was a very cheap political ad written and
produced by A. Dog for the Labour Party. Remember kids,
if you don’t vote Labour your left with this bad ACT for
the next three sevenths of a dog year!,,,

HEAR A COUPLE OF DOG BARKS AND CUT.