Not the Foxx O'Clock News

NOT THE FOXX O’CLOCK NEWS
( THINK CHEAP ANIMATION THAT MOVES FAST )

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND MONITOR BEHIND HER HAS A PICTURE OF ‘BILL CLINTON’.

FOXY
Hillary Clinton has toppled Barack Obama as America’s highest paid
performer after pulling in a cool 2.5 million at her Hollywood show and
it’s now estimated by the time her tour ends she will have earned over a
billion dollars and rolled the Rolling Stones off as highest grossing rock
act. Her manager, Bill, also announced plans are underway to release
her Hollywood show as a C.D. and movie documentary.

BILL
Yes Foxy cause heck, if Jimmy Carter can win a Grammy and Al Gore
can win an Oscar, I’m sure we can win both as we also have guest
appearances by great artists like Barbara Streisand, Ted Danson’s lovely
wife, mmmm, and the godfather of soul himself, James Brown.

FOXY
James Brown, didn’t he die months ago ?

BILL
Well technically yes, but his gracious family let us borrow him to lend
a black presence to our rich white audience, and, he was magnificent,
his family are swell folks.

FOXY
So, did James Brown sing ?

BILL
No, but he sure did hum a lot . ( LAUGHS )

HILLARY ( voice only )
Oh ha ha Bill, don’t give up your day job, that joke stunk.

BILL
What day job darling ?

HILLARY ( v.o. )
Shut up and iron my pants !

BILL
Yes maam . ( EVIL LOOK )

AN IRON FLIES AND HITS BILL IN THE HEAD

FOXY
Ouch, now I know why they call her Iron Lady.

MONITOR PIC CHANGES TO ‘HOWARD K. STERN’.

FOXY
Top Hollywood accounting firm, ‘Shyster and Sons’, has calculated if Anna
Nicole’s baby Dannielynn wins her case against the Marshall estate by the
the time she turns 21, and once all legal and management fees have been
paid, she will be worth an estimated , 37 dollars. Her manager , lawyer ,
and x father, Howard K. Stern, defended the high fees saying ,”hey, justice
ain’t cheap ya know”. He also confirmed he is in negotiations with Canada
to buy Newfoundland to turn it into a giant Anna Nicole memorial and
theme park.

HOWARD
Yes Foxy I’m so excited about my plans for Anna’s memorial as we
will have two giant casino’s shaped just like her big beautiful breasts
and between them a very classy high rollers casino shaped just like her
big beautiful purse, with my x sperm donor Larry Birdbrain as matre’d
and baby Dannielynn doing a provocative floor show, it should be very
moving, and spectacular.

FOXY
Provocative, don’t tell me the baby will be scantily clad.

HOWARD
Hell no Foxy I ain’t THAT sleazy, she will be mostly clothed , but, she
will have lots of blue material.

BABY ( voice only )
Goo goo ga ga Howard you ( bleep bleep bleep ) !

HOWARD
See, she’s just like her dear mum. ( SICKLY SMILE )

A DIRTY SYRINGE FLIES INTO ‘HOWARD’S’ FACE AND STICKS.

FOXY
Good shot Baby, good shot.

HEAR ‘BABY’ LAUGH AND MONITOR PIC CHANGES TO ‘SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO’ WITH LAWYERS WIG ON.

FOXY
Australian Guantamano detainee David Hicks has surprised everyone
by firing his lawyers and hiring top Australian actor ‘Skippy the
Bush Kangaroo’ as his new defense team. Skippy will be hopping on
the next flight and is expected to plead insanity.

SKIPPY
Yup Foxy, me and insanity are very close mates, tch tch tch tch tch.

FOXY
So what Skippy, you think you can prove David is insane by hiring
you ?

SKIPPY
No No No, I think I can prove I’M insane by taking the role, I mean
fair dinkum, what role could a Bush kangaroo possibly have in an
American Military Court ? Tch tch tch tch

‘SKIPPY’ GETS KNOCKED OUT BY A FLYING ‘STARS AND STRIPES’ BOOMERANG, MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines, and now, back to ‘Foxx n Friends’

SHOT OF ‘FOXX n FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED IN CHAIRS ARE ‘BILL CLINTON’, ‘SKIPPY’, ‘HOWARD K. STERN’, AND ‘JAMES BROWN’S BODY’ SURROUNDED BY ‘HUMMING’ FLIES.

REDD
Damn your right Bill, James Brown really does hum.

BILL
Yes I think the hot lights might be upsetting the flies.

SKIPPY
I’m starving can we put him on the barbie, I’ve heard American
soul food is bloody yummy.

HOWARD
Don’t be so distasteful Skippy, have you no respect for the
deceased ?

EVERONE LOOKS AT ‘HOWARD’ AND LAUGHS.

HOWARD
Hey what’s so funny, I’m dead serious.

FLIES LEAVE ‘JAMES BROWN’ AND CIRCLE
‘HOWARD’. EVERYONE LAUGHS AT HIM INCLUDING ‘JAMES BROWN’, HEAR COUPLE OF DOG “BARKS”, CUT.


Note from Monty – Now if that ain’t a very black comedy sketch I don’t know what is, Ruff Ruff Ruff ! ( wags tale )