Not the Nappy Head Ho Fox News

NOT THE NAPPY HEAD HO FOX NEWS

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ WITH MONITOR BEHIND HER A PICTURE OF THIN SHAKING BIKINI CLAD ‘COURTNEY LOVE’.

FOXY
A thin shaking Courtney Love furiously denied having a rubber band
stomach operation for her amazing weight loss just before admitting
herself to the ‘Britney Spears Wing’ of an exclusive Hollywood rehab
centre after becoming addicted to ‘Slim Fast’ in her attempt to look
like Oprah. Courtney admitted she was snorting up to six packs a
day of chocolate shake powder and only realized she had a serious
problem when Britney Spears confused her for Nicole Ritchie.

COURTNEY
Ya Foxy I didn’t need no stupid rubber band to become thin as it was
all down to good diet, swimming, and lots and lots of Slim Fast and I’m
happy to say once I get out of this stinking hole I’m going to be the new
Slim Fast spokes model replacing that skanky nappy head ho Anna
Nicole Ritchie.

FOXY
Oh that’s great news, so does this spell an end to your acting and
singing careers ?

COURTNEY
Hell ya ! Where you been girl, they died years ago.

FOXY
Oh right, I must have still been in nappies then, hehehe.

COURTNEY
Oh, ho, ho, ho,

MAN ( voice only )
It’s nine p.m. Miss Love, time for bed.

COURTNEY
Bed no ( bleep ) way, I ain’t going to bed that ( beep ) early !

MAN ( voice only )
It’s the rules Miss Love.

COURTNEY
Screw the rules I’m out of this crappy hole !

COURTNEY DISSAPEARS FAST SHOWING SIGN BEHIND HER

‘HOLE REUNION TOUR
REHAB’

MONITOR PICTURES TURNS TO ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’ WITH HAT AND SUNGLASSES.

FOXY
After blaming Paris Hilton for all her personal problems a defiant sober
Britney Spears has now blamed Paris for Nicole Ritchie’s death, global
warming, and for killing girl pop music. Britney says now she is sober
and regained her sanity she realized what a skanky diaper head ho
Paris is and will never again eat snails, french fries, or tour France again?

BRITNEY
Ya Foxy I can’t believe what a skanky diaper head ho that bitch Paris
is for killing girl pop music and the planet with all her hot air rubbish as
I’ve heard dogs on heat that can sing better than that bitch and I don’t
blame Al Gore for wanting that ho dead.

FOXY
Ummm Britney, are you on medication ?

BRITNEY
Ya but it’s all legal like cause like I bought the contents of Anna
Nicole’s fridge on E Bay cause like I want to look just like Courtney
Love.

FOXY
Well good luck with the swimming.

BRITNEY
Ya thanks Foxy, I got to go now as I got an audition to be the new
singer of Hole, so bye bye and wish me luck.

BRITNEY DISSPAEARS FAST REVEALING SIGN.

‘ MARGOT KIDDER SANITY CENTRE’.

FOXY
I’m betting she’s a shoe in to get in that band.

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘PARIS HILTON’ IN STRAIGHT JACKET.


FOXY
Paris Hilton has pleaded insanity over her drunk driving charges and has
now admitted herself to the ‘Courtney Love Wing’ of the ‘Margot Kidder
Sanity Centre’. She has blamed Britney Spears for all her drink, drug,
and car problems, and for making her wear no panties and appear in bad movies and pursue a pop singing career, saying, before she met that nappy
head ho she was a good catholic girl who would never dream of
making pantyless bad movies and pop records.

PARIS
Yes Foxy that nappy head ho skank bitch almost ruined my
good girl reputation by making me appear in straight to vid movies
and then convincing me I was a great pop singer. I hate that nappy
head ho bald cumslut so bad, I wish she died.

FOXY
But Paris, your cd sold like a hundred thousand copies and your
movies are huge on the internet.

PARIS
Wow really, I didn’t know that, gee maybe I really am a good singer,,
HELP, get me out of this jacket I’m not crazy,, HELLO I need out,
I’ve got an audition to be the lead singer of Hole,, HELLO,,, HELLOOO
it’s Paris Hilton here I’m sane get me out,, I need a bloody drink !

MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now back to ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO THE ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SITTING IN SEATS ARE ‘COURNTEY LOVE’ WITH CHOCOLATE SHAKE POWDER UNDER HER NOSE, ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’ WITH HAT AND SUNGLASSES, AND ‘PARIS HILTON’ IN STRAIGHT JACKET. THE GUESTS HAVE BEEN BITCHING TO EACH OTHER.

REDD
Damn, I feel like a black Don Imus watching a honky ball game, am I
in nappy headed ho heaven or what?

PARIS
HEY I’m not no nappy headed ho, I can’t even play basketball !

BRITNEY
Ya I ain’t no nappy headed ho either, cause hello, like I’m bald for Christ
sakes !

COURTNEY
Well I’m a ho, but I’m way too old to be nappy headed.

BRITNEY
You’re never to old Love.

BRITNEY PULLS NAPPIES OUT OF HANDBAG AND PUTS THEM ON ‘COURNTEY’S’ HEAD AND LAUGHS.

PARIS ( to Courtney )
Lets kill the nappy head ho bitch.

‘PARIS’ AND ‘COURTNEY’ RISE UP .

REDD ( excited )
All right! Cat Fight ! that’s got to increase dem ratings !

HEAR HUGE AUDIENCE CHEERS AND DOG BARKS AND ‘REDD’ PRETENDS HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND CUT JUST BEFORE ‘PARIS’ AND ‘COURTNEY’ START LAYING INTO ‘BRITNEY’