Not the Killer Fox News

Not the Killer Fox News
SHOT OF NEWREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER IS MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF ‘PHIL SPECTOR’.

FOXY
Phil Spector released another video today and this time claimed he was
the mysterious eBay buyer of Britney Spears hair which he had made
into a wig and two merkins which he wears everyday to court to add
too his sexy virile youthful appearance which he says proves he is
innocent of killing some old tall broad for sex. Phil also said once
Britney found out he was wearing her merkins she immediately rang
him up and hired him to produce her comeback album in which she
will lip sync the Righteous Brothers greatest hits to a disco beat.

PHIL
Ya Foxy I can’t wait to start work on Britney’s album it’s going to
be so groovy to be working again, I tell ya babe.

FOXY
Yes but Phil, aren’t you worried about being convicted of murder ?

PHIL
Heck no ! My lawyers have come up with the ultimate alibi, the case
should be dropped within a week.

FOXY
Really, so what’s the alibi?

PHIL
I’m going to plead insanity. ( LAUGHS CRAZILY )

FOXY
Well, that sure beats the, “she was too tall sitting in the chair for me
to shoot in her mouth”, excuse.

‘PHIL’ SMILES AND LAUGHS CRAZILY AND MONITOR TURNS TO A PIC OF ‘O.J. SIMPSON’.

FOXY
O.J. Simpson today announced he is suing Kentucky Steakhouse
owner Jack Ruby for racial discrimination after he found out
hours before he was refused service Robert Blake and Phil Spector
had dined there together and received two complimentary cocktails
and a free dessert. O.J. said he was sure if he was a white innocent
killer he wouldn’t have been kicked out and has now hired top
attorney Howard K. Stern to sue the pants of Jack Ruby to the tune
of sixty five million dollars, two free desserts, and a cocktail
waitress blowjob.

O.J. SIMPSON
Ya Foxy I’m standing up for all blacks and fighting the blatant
discrimination against great black role models like myself, Barry
Bonds, Snoop Dogg, and the Reverend Al Sharpton, we demand
the respect we deserve.

FOXY
So, if you win your case I hope you will be giving some money
to Nicole and Ron Goldman’s families.

O.J. SIMPSON
Hell no woman! Sixty five million barely cover my legal bills
and green fees, I ain’t no white folks charity ya know.

‘O.J.’ GRINS AND MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘ROBERT BLAKE’.

FOXY
Robert Blake today has appealed to Governor Arnold Schwarznegger
not to send Paris Hilton to jail saying when he was falsely imprisoned
for murder it caused him so much stress his hair turned grey and he
lost his boyish good looks and now just like Arnold, his acting
career has dried up completely and he didn’t want the same thing to
happen to poor Paris.

ROBERT
Yes Foxy jail is tough for actors and celebrities, the other inmates
just don’t show you the respect you deserve, and now I can’t get
any acting roles at all, hell I just got rejected for a tiny role as
Prince Frederick Gabor in a Fox made for TV movie about Anna
Nicole because I was “too old”, for god’s sake, how degrading is
that?

FOXY
Very, hehe, so who got that role, Hugh Hefner ? ( SMILES )

ROBERT
Oh ha ha, no, it was that bloody O.J. Simpson, that’s who.

FOXY
O.J. Simpson, he doesn’t look anything like Prince Gabor.

ROBERT
Ya that’s what I said, but they said it was going to be some
stupid black comedy, what ever the hell that means.

FOXY
I think it means your acting career is looking very dark.
( SMILES )

MONITOR SCREEN TURNS DARK.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines, and talking about black comedy,
here’s ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘PHIL SPECTOR’, ‘O.J. SIMPSON’, AND ‘ROBERT BLAKE’.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a killer show lined up for you,

PHIL
Hey I’m not a killer, I’m a lover, mmmm ( STICKS TONGUES OUT
PROVOCATIVLY )

O.J. SIMPSON
Ya and I ain’t no killer, unless you mean the most lethal running back
ever to come out of out of the San Francisco 49ers backfield.

ROBERT
Ya and I sure ain’t no killer, it was some big black guy wearing white
gloves that killed my dame, I tried to catch him but damn he ran fast.

O.J. SIMPSON
Hey that sounds like the dude that killed my bitch, small world huh .

PHIL ( very excited )
That’s it that’s it, I just remembered, I saw a big black guy with
white gloves when my chick snuffed herself, yahoo I’m not crazy,
I’m innocent I’m innocent yee haw ! ( JUMPS UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT)

REDD
Settle down Phil, that was probably your servant.

PHIL
Yes yes yes that’s it that’s it ! The butler did it! The butler did it!

‘PHIL’ STARTS JUMPING AROUND ACTING CRAZY AS WE HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, CUT !