Not the Royal Fox News

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER IS MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF ‘DEBORAH PALFREY’ DRINKING A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE.

FOXY
Washington Madam Deborah Palfrey told A.B.C. Nightline last night
she can’t talk about the Washington sex scandal anymore as she has
just signed a deal to turn her high priced phone book into a sensational
Fox TV miniseries. Ms. Palfrey said she’s very excited about being able
to pay her exorbitant lawyer fees and has already received calls from
Fred Thompson, a California governor, a former president, and a
member of the Royal Family begging her not to cast them in the series
for the sake of their high profile partners.

DEBORAH
Yes Foxy it’s so exciting as I’ve already signed up Paris, Nicole and
Lindsay to play the main hoes and now every stud actor in
Hollywood are phoning me and begging me to cast them. ( PHONE
RINGS ) Whoops must be another one, excuse me,,, Madam Palfrew,,,,
Prince I don’t care if you are a member of royalty the answer is
still no,,,, go cry to your new girlfriend and quit calling me I don’t
care, ( HANGS UP ) Sorry Foxy, sheesh those Royals can be so
demanding.

FOXY
Prince, don’t tell me that was Harry, Charles, or Philip ?

DEBORAH
I wish, no it was Prince Frederick, I don’t know how Zsa Zsa puts up
with that imposter.

FOXY
Yes, I’m guessing he must be a King in bed.

DEBORAH
Haha, Queen I could believe.

FOXY
Ouch, do tell Deborah.

DEBORAH
Sorry Foxy, my lips are sealed, you will have to wait for the Fox
miniseries.

FOXY
Darn it.

PHONE RINGS AGAIN AND MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’ DRINKING ‘PEPSI’.

FOXY
Britney Spears has become America’s highest paid unpublished writer
surpassing black listed satirist O.J. Simpson by signing a ten million
dollar deal with Fox to write her fictionalized biography and then
develop it into a sensational Fox miniseries in which she will be making
her acting debut playing herself. Britney says she is very excited about
her new writing and acting career and will start writing Monday and is expected to be finished by Friday at the latest.

BRITNEY
Ya Foxy I’m so excited about becoming a writer and great actress
cause like, hello, how hard can it be to act like myself, duh, I can’t
wait to win the Emmy it’s going to be soooo cool.

FOXY
Won’t acting out all those debauched drug, drink, and pantyless days
bring back painful memories ?

BRITNEY
Hell no, not now I’m drinking again, ( BURPS) Whoops excuse me.
(LAUGHS AND SCULLS ‘PEPSI’ )

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘THE QUEEN’ HOLDING A GLASS OF BOURBON.

FOXY
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip opened a new Kentucky Bourban
distillery last night telling Larry Birkhead, baby Dannielynn, and a
throng of drunk British journalists that Kentucky was her and Philip’s
favourite American State as both of them adored their beautiful horses, smooth bourbon, and tasty fried chicken and also made special mention
of their love of KY Jell which, if not for, their romance would have dried
up fifty seven years ago.

QUEEN
Yes Foxy, we love Kentucky, it’s been like a second honeymoon for
us here, it’s so nice to get away from the children, they can be so
demanding at times.

FOXY
Yes I bet, so you’ve had lots of time alone for long passionate sensual
lovemaking ?

QUEEN
Excuse me Foxy, we don’t do long passionate sensual lovemaking,
we are English you know,, we just rodger like mad dogs on heat.

PRINCE PHILIP ( voice only )
Ruff ruff ruff, where’s my sexy English bitch !

QUEEN
Oh sorry Foxy I have to go, looks like Philip’s pill has finally
kicked in, ( SCULLS DRINK ) pip pip Foxy, tally ho.

QUEEN WAVES BYE AND MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now back to ‘Foxx n Friends’

SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘MADAM DEBORAH’ DRINKING CHAMPAGNE, ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’ DRINKING A ‘PEPSI’, AND THE ‘QUEEN’
DRINKING BOURBON.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and I must say it’s a pleasure to have some royalty on
the show, I almost feel privileged for a change.

DEBORAH
And so you should Redd, I don’t cum cheap you know. ( FLIRTS
AT REDD )

BRITNEY
Give it a rest ya nappy head ho, he’s talking to me, Britney Spears,
Queen of Pop.

DEBORAH
Queen hah ! your more like the diet cherry vanilla mocha generic
Pepsi of pop.

QUEEN
Excuse me ladies, you are both wrong he is referring to me, I’m
Elizabeth, the Queen of England.

BRITNEY
Don’t lie you old drag act,, Elton John is the Queen of
England.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS, DOG BARKS, ‘BRITNEY’ LOOKS PUZZLED, CUT !