Not the Fox News Comedy Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER ON MONITOR IS A PICTURE OF ‘CHARLTON HESTON’ DRESSED AS ‘MOSES’ AND HOLDING A RIFLE.

FOXY
Rupert Murdoch today paid three million dollars for the screen
rights for the American literary masterpiece,‘Ronald Reagan’s Diary’.
He said Fox will be making it into an epic mini series
starring Celeste Flockhart as Nancy, Harrison Ford as young
Reagan, and Charlton Heston as old Reagan. Production is due
to start once Celeste loses a few pounds and old Reagan can
remember his lines.

CHARLTON
You’ll have to pry this gun from my cold dead hands !

FOXY
Umm, ok,, so,, Charlton, are you excited about playing old Reagan?

CHARLTON
Who, what, where am I, I think I need to go number two’s now.

‘CHARLTON’ AIMS GUN AT SCREEN, SCREEN TURNS DARK, WE HEAR A FART, AND THEN A GUN SHOT.

FOXY
Yes, I can see he’s going to make a great second term Reagan.

MONITOR SHOWS A PICTURE OF ‘GEORGE BUSH’.

FOXY
After hearing about the success of Ronald Reagan’s diary President
Bush has now started a diary of his years as president. He said he
wrote the whole first term last weekend and is already in negotiations
with Rupert Murdoch to turn the diary into an epic Fox mini
series starring Charlton Heston and Roseanne.

GEORGE
Yes Foxy it’s very exciting, I didn’t know writing was so easy, I’m
already up to page nine and believe me it’s going to make a
sensational Fox mini series, war, money, power, it has it all, I even
threw in some kinky sex scenes at Rupert’s request, the book will
be huge believe me, at least a hundred pages with pictures.

FOXY
Ohhhhh, kinky sex scenes, do tell.


GEORGE
Well it’s not really THAT kinky, just naked on the dining room
table,, with feathers!

FOXY
Mmm, almost sounds kind of romantic.

GEORGE
Oh ya oh ya ya ! There was a plucked chicken involved too.

FOXY
Plucked chicken, that sounds, pretty FOWL. ( SMILES )

GEORGE
Ya well I tell ya Foxy, it sure smelt foul by the time we were through
with it I tell ya, I don’t know how Karl Robe could eat that thing, that
man is one sick pervert I tell ya,, huhu ( GRINS )

FOXY
Yes so I’ve heard.

GEORGE
Well I better go Foxy, some one has to win the war ya know.

FOXY
Well good luck Mister President.

GEORGE
Thanks Foxy, I need it. ( GRINS )

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘PARIS HILTON’.

FOXY
Paris Hilton stepped on the literary band wagon today by announcing
she will be writing a diary in jail and has already sold the publishing
rights to Rupert Murdoch for three million bucks. She said she’s now
really looking forward to her hard times as she’s treating it like a free
three week rehab stay to get rid of her drug, drink, driving, and
no panty addictions, and give her time to sit down alone and find God and become a highly paid martyr and writer.

PARIS
Ya Foxy I’m really looking forward to doing hard times now, it’s
going to be so cool, when I cum out with my diary I’m going to be
like this highly respected writer and rich martyr, I’ll be like the
American Nelson Mandela, only way better, a martyr to my cause
and a lot richer for it , yay for me and rehab, thank you Jesus.

FOXY
Well I’m not sure if Nelson Mandela is going to enjoy being called
the black man’s Paris Hilton.

PARIS
He’ll get over it in time, anyways who cares, he’s an old has been,
duh.

FOXY
Whatever .

PARIS
Hey, that’s my catchphrase bitch !

FOXY
Bite me Miss jail bait. .

MONITOR TURNS OFF JUST BEFORE ‘PARIS’ SWEARS.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines, and now, it’s ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘CHARLTON HESTON’ DRESSED AS ‘MOSES’ AND HOLDING A RIFLE, ‘GEORGE BUSH’ HOLDING ‘THE BIBLE’ AND ‘PARIS HILTON’ IN JAIL GEAR WITH A MAGAZINE.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a bit of a literary line up for ya all,

CHARLTON
Hey I’m not aliterary, I only wear adult diapers for convenience.

PARIS
I’m highly aliterary, I just read a book last week if May’s issue of
‘Cosmo Girl’ counts as a book.

GEORGE
Not in my book it ain’t, I’m real aliterary, I read the Bible everyday
and I’m almost up to page seventy now, but I don’t know why those
guys that wrote it used so many big words as heck, if I can’t
understand it, how the bejesus are those old stupid dead guys
going to ?

REDD
Oh ya the Bible is a hard read man, I put it down after a few pages
and just watched an episode of ‘Charlton Heston presents the Bible’,
you were great in that Chuck.

CHARLTON
I was in the Bible, HELL, no wonder I feel so damn old !

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS, ‘CHARLTON’S’ GUN GOES OFF AND SHOOTS ‘GEORGE’ IN THE FOOT, LOUDER AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS ‘GEORGE’ HOPS AROUND, CUT !