Not the Mothers Day Fox News

’SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER ON MONITOR IS A PICTURE OF ‘MINNIE MOUSE'.

FOXY
Minnie Mouse today filed for divorce from Mickey after he took up
a contract with Hamis to make a kids terrorist TV series. Minnie
said since the advent of ‘The Simpsons’ and all those edgy cartoons
Mickey found it hard to get to work and spiraled downwards with
drink and drugs and then started hanging out with the wrong crowd
like Ren and Stimpy and Paris and Nicole. Minnie has hired top
attorney Lionel Putz to represent her and is planning to sue the
pants off Mickey and take him to the cleaners to the tune of sixty
five million dollars.

MINNIE
Yes Foxy it’s so sad, I bet Walt Disney would be rolling over in
suspended animation is he could see what Mickey is doing.

FOXY
Yes I bet he is, so, how’s your career going Minnie ?

MINNIE
It’s great, I just signed on to make a new Disney animated
blockbuster.

FOXY
Oh great, so what’s the role ?

MINNIE
I’m the voice of David Beckham in the new hilarious
Disney comedy, ‘David Mouse, Soccer Mom’.

MINNIE GETS HIT HARD IN THE FACE WITH A SOCCER BALL.

DAVID BECKHMAM ( Mickey Mouse voice only )
I told you not to tell anyone you’re doing my voice you stupid
poor man’s rat.

MINNIE
Sorry Becks, mice have short memories.

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘PARIS HILTON’ DRINKING CHAMPAGNE.

FOXY
Paris Hilton celebrated Mothers Day by announcing she’s
divorcing her mummy Kathy who she blames for electing Arnold
Schwarzenegger and getting her sent to jail by heckling that
stupid old fat ass pig judge. She then blamed Kathy for poor
room service and for all her drug, drink, and panty problems but
said she was going to make her jail time productive as she has
just signed on to make a new Fox reality series called ,’The Really Really Really Really Simple Life’.

PARIS
Ya Foxy the reality series is going to be soooo huge like, I’m going
to come out of hard time bigger and better than that old nappy
head ho Martha Stewart cause like , hello, she’s like a hundred
years old and boring, duh, I might even make a cooking talk
show when I get out, that would be soooo cool.

FOXY
I didn’t know you could cook Paris.

PARIS
I can’t, I’ll just have to get by with TV dinners and my
sparkling personality and good looks, duh.

FOXY
Whatever.

PARIS
Hey bitch that’s my catchphrase you skanky nappy head

MONITOR QUICKLY CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF A VERY DRUNK ‘DAVID HASSLEHORF’ DRINKING FROM TEQUILA BOTTLE

FOXY
Whatever. ( SMILES ) David Hasselhoff today claimed he
was just “acting” drunk in his daughter’s video as he was
preparing a scene for an audition as a drunk dead beat dad
in a new Fox TV Kim Bassinger sitcom. Unfortunately David
missed out on the role to Nick Nolte and he has now fired his
daughter as his publicist and rehired Paris Hilton’s former
mother.

DAVID
Yup Foxy I agree with Alex Baldwin, Kim Bassinger and his
daughter are bitches, I was made for that role I tell you and
they go and hire some old has been, I mean who the hell is
Nick Nolte these days,

DAVID GETS HIT HARD BY A PUNCH.

NICK ( voice only )
I’m Nick Nolte, now give me back my bottle golden boy!

FOXY
Yeouch, looks like David is a bit punch drunk again. ( SMILES )

MONITOR TURNS OFF

FOXY
And that today’s Mothers Day news and now, back to ‘Foxx
n Friends’ . ( SMILES )

SHOT OF ‘FOXX n FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX AND SEATED ARE ‘MINNIE MOUSE’ WITH A BLACK EYE, ‘PARIS HILTON’ DRINKING CHAMPAGNE, ‘DAVID HASSLEHOFF’ WITH A BLACK EYE AND DRINKING TEQUILA.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and talking about mothers,

MINNIE
Hey I’m not a mother, sadly Mickey was sterilized in 1939
during a horrible Goofy operation.

DAVID
Ouch poor guy, no wonder he has no balls.

PARIS
Hah, sounds like David Beckham, I heard he has no balls and is
hung like a mouse, no wonder he talks so funny, hahaha

DAVID BECKHAM ( Mickey Mouse voice only )
Excuse me slapper, I don’t talk funny, I’m an English mouse
you know,,errr I mean an English man.

‘PARIS’ GETS HIT HARD IN THE FACE WITH SOCCER BALL GIVING HER AN INSTANT BLACK EYE, HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS.

MINNIE
That’ll teach her for saying David has no balls. ( SMILES )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS SOCCER BALL FLIES TOWARDS ‘MINNIE’ AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE IT HITS HER IN THE GOOD EYE.