Not the Fox News Comedy Show 4

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER IS MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF ‘HOWARD K. STERN’ AND ‘DEBRA OPRI’.

FOXY
The missing pants judge Roy Pearson last night lowered his suit
against the poor Korean dry cleaning couple and is now only asking
for a paltry 22 million, which, he claims is one million for the pants
and a missing wallet, five million for emotional distress, and the
remaining millions will go towards paying his legal fees, which, Roy
proudly said, he has now cut in half by firing himself and hiring
Debra Opri, Howard K. Stern, and Mike Nifong to represent him.,,,
So Debra and Howard, if you win Roy’s suit how can you expect a
poor Korean couple to pay 22 million when they can’t even pay
their own legal bills ?

DEBRA AND HOWARD ( shocked in unision )
Can’t pay their legal bills,, ( SCREAMS )

FOXY
That’s funny, that’s the exact same reaction I had when I opened my
last lawyers bill to see I’ve been taken to the cleaners.

‘DEBRA’ AND ‘HOWARD’ SCOWL AT ‘FOXY’ AND MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘RICK’ AND ‘KATHY HILTON’.

FOXY
Rick and Kathy Hilton announced last night they have finalized
Paris’s cumming out of jail party after a week of extensive
negotiations and hard bargaining. The posh party will be staged
at the Silicon Valley ‘Star Bucks’ after manager Joey Tribbiani
agreed to their demands of free transport, drinks, and food, and
a cash payment, of 45 dollars. Joey said in keeping with the
parties theme Paris and the rich people will be picked up outside
jail in a beat up old Greyhound bus for the short drive north where
they will be treated to a night of black coffee and salted peanuts
with the music being supplied by Sir Paul McCartney. ,, So David
and Kathy, what made you decide on Silicon Valley rather than Vegas
or even Hollywood ?

RICK
Money talks Foxy, money talks, and, we are all huge Wings fans.

KATHY
I’m not really a huge Wings fan dear, I much prefer the bar room
banter of ‘Cheers’.

RICK
Not the sitcom darling, the band, you know we were all singing
their song the night Paris came out of jail, ‘Band on the Run’.

KATHY
Oh yes of coarse,, ( SINGS BADLY) “and the country judge who held
a grudge will search for evermore,,( RICKS JOINS IN SINGING BADLY )
for the , Paris on the Run,,, Paris on the Run.( SMILE AT EACH OTHER )

FOXY
Well we can sure see where Paris got her singing talent from.

KATHY AND RICK
Why thank you Foxy.

‘KATHY’ AND ‘RICK’ SMILE, MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘LARRY BIRKHEAD’ HOLDING BABY ‘DANNIELYNN’ LIKE A VENTRILQUIST DUMMY.

FOXY
C.B.S. chief Sumner Redstone last night fired Katie Couric from
the evening news anchor job after hearing about Dan Rather’s
stinging criticism of Katie being to tarty. He announced they have
now hired highly respected ‘University of Kentucky’ journalism
degree holder Larry Birkhead and baby Dannielyn to co anchor
the news with Dan Rather returning to be the friendly funny
weatherman. Sumner said with the new line up he was sure once
again C.B.S would rise to the top and overtake Fox as the third
rated news.’,, So Larry ,that’s a bit of a surprise announcement,
I didn’t even know you had a journalism degree.

LARRY
Oh ya Foxy, I ain’t just a pretty face ya know, ( SMILES ) I was
Summa Cum Lord of my class I’ll have ya know.

FOXY
Wow really, was it a big class?

LARRY
Um heck ya, there was me and um, the entire University of
Kentucky Wildcats offensive line and um, two real smart
Koreans who couldn’t speak English to good.

BABY ( Larry doing a bad ventriloquist act )
They were the cleaners ya dork !

LARRY
Don’t call me a dork baby, we’re on TV now ya know.

BABY
Ya I know, I’m the one that got us the anchor jobs ya schmuk !

LARRY
No way baby, it was my University of Kentucky journalism
degree that got us that job.

BABY
Oh ya right, the Harvard of the South, I forgot. ( ROLLS EYES )

FOXY
Well I can see you two are sure going to bring back the integrity
to the C.B.S. News.

‘LARRY’ AND ‘BABY’ LAUGH, MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘LARRY BIRKHEAD AND BABY DANNIELYN’, ‘RICK AND KATHY HILTON’, AND ‘DEBRA OPRI’ AND ‘HOWARD K. STERN’.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a bunch of high profile Hollywood
couples for ya all,

DEBRA
Excuse me Redd, we’re not officially a “couple” couple, we are
just “good” friends.

BABY
Ya Howard can’t be anything more than “good” friends, wink
wink nudge nudge . ( SHOWS A LIMP WRIST )

LARRY
Baby Dannielyn, don’t be so naughty !

HOWARD
Baby Dannielyn you’re just jealous cause I’m not your daddy,
at least I’VE got an honest profession.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS, ‘HOWARD’ SCOULS AT THEM.

DEBRA
So Larry, now that you are a highly paid anchor when can I expect
you to pay my legal bill, lawyers have to eat too you know.

BABY
Screw you shyster, he ain’t paying for your dinners bitch !

KATHY
Oh my that’s no way for a young girl to behave, Baby Dannielyn
is growing up way to fast.

RICK
Ah dear, that’s not Baby Dannielyn, it’s Larry.

KATHY
Oh well excuse me, then Baby Larry is growing up way to fast then.

REDD
Well I can sure see where Paris gets her brains from.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS, BABY LOOKS EVIL AT ‘KATHY’, HEAD TURNS AROUND LIKE IN ‘THE EXCORCIST’, SHE PUKES OUT GREEN VOMIT, HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE THE PUKE HITS HER IN THE FACE.