Not the Fox News Larry Comedy Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY BIMBO’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A PICTURE OF “JUDGE” ‘LARRY SEIDLIN’.

FOXY
The funny crying Anna Nicole judge Larry Seidlin confirmed to ‘Shyster
Magazine’ last night that he quit his judge job to star in an updated
‘Charlie’s Angels’ sitcom with Fox called ‘Larry’s Angels’ in which he
plays a funny probation officer to star clients Lindsay Lohan, Paris
Hilton, and Nicole Ritchie. Production is due to start once Lindsay
sobers up, Nicole escapes jail, and Paris learns to act good.,,, Wow
Larry, that’s quite an impressive cast.

LARRY
Ya thanks Foxy, and the girls ain’t bad either I tell ya.

FOXY
I was talking about the girls .

LARRY
Hey I’m the star of the show not them, I’m the only one who can cry
on cue ya know.

FOXY
But Larry, big stars don’t cry.

LARRY ( tearfull )
What do ya mean by that ? ( STARTS CRYING )

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘LARRY KING’.

FOXY
Larry King admitted last night that C.N.N paid Paris Hilton for her
stimulating interview but said it was only two signed 4 x 6 glossy
pics of himself, 45 dollars, and a weekend in Vegas for Rick and
Kathy with a free mini bar and Wayne Newton tickets.,,,, So
Larry, people are questioning the 45 dollars, does this mean C.N.N.
pays for interviews ?

LARRY
No not at all Foxy, the 45 bucks was to Kathy for professional services.

FOXY
Kathy, what’s she ever done that’s professional?

LARRY
When she rang me up collect to moan about Paris she was so hot and
sexy it was the best damn 45 seconds of phone sex I ever had, I came
like a drunk Mormon teenager Foxy, I was Fantastic!

FOXY
Ah, that’s a bit too much info Larry. ( SHUDDERS )

LARRY
I’ll give you my number later Foxy, I pay well for “sexy” interviews
you know. ( WINKS )

FOXY
Larry if I ever get that desperate, I’d rather ring Phil Spector for a
date. ( SHUDDERS AT THE THOUGHT )

‘LARRY’ FROWNS AND MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘LARRY BIRKHEAD’.

FOXY
Larry Birkhead rebuffed rumors he was gay last night by proudly
boasting to the boys from ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ he has
just become engaged to a very smart sexy funny straight woman.
Larry announced he and Anne Heche will be tying the knot in San
Francisco as soon as Anne can get a divorce from her straight
husband and that both he and Baby Dannielynn were really looking
forward to married bliss.,,, So Larry this is a bit of a surprise
announcement, how long have you and Anne being seeing each other
for?

LARRY
Um, a real long time, we met almost two weeks ago at a Ryan
Seacrest sauna party, we got on like houses on fire and we made a real
hot couple, Baby Dannielynn loves her so much she is already
calling her Mummy.

FOXY
Maybe she thinks its Anna returning after a six month ‘Slim Fast’
binge.

LARRY
Huh? ( CONFUSED )

FOXY
Sorry, it was a thin attempt at humour.

‘LARRY’ LOOKS PERPLEXED, MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘LARRY BIRKHEAD’ HOLDING ‘BABY DANNIELYNNE’ LIKE A VENTRILIQUIST DOLL, ‘LARRY KING’, ‘LARRY SEIDLIN’, ‘LARRY DAVID’, AND ‘LARRY FINE’ FROM ‘THE THREE STOOGES’.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and to celebrate international Larry Day we got a panel of
funny Larries for ya all,

LARRY DAVID
Hey I don’t know if Larry Birkhead is a funny Larry, he has way too
much hair to be a funny Larry.

OTHER LARRIES NOD IN AGREEMENT.

LARRY BIRKHEAD
Hey I can grow out of it, I lost a hair today in the shower, honest.

OTHER LARRIES LOOK AT HIM WITH HATE.

LARRY FINE
Ya Larry ain’t no funny Larry, he’s just a stooge Larry.

BABY DANNIELYNNE ( Larry Birkead’s voice )
Oh look whose calling who a stooge, you Larries are just funny has
beens, my Daddy is the new King of funny Larries, all hail the King.

LARRY KING
No he’s not the King, I am!

BABY DANNIELYNN
No you’re the Queen darling.

‘LARRY BIRKEAD’ LOOKS SEDUCTIVELY AT ‘LARRY KING’.

LARRY SEIDLIN
Hey I’m a good judge of funny Larries and believe me Larry you
ain’t that funny, even your ventriloquist act stinks.

LARRY BIRKHEAD
What ventriloquist act ?

‘BABY DANNIELYNNE’ STICKS TONGUE OUT AND GIVES FINGER TO ‘LARRY SEIDLIN’. IN RUSHES ‘LARRY HAGMAN’ DRESSED AS ‘I DREAM OF JEANIE’ ASTRONAUT WHEELING IN ‘LARRY FLYNT’.

LARRY HAGMAN
Sorry we’re late, we had to stop off for astronaut diapers.

‘LARRY FLYNT’ LETS OUT A BIG JUICY FART, HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS.

LARRY FLYNT
Ahhh that’s better, I’m as happy as Larry now. ( SMILES )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AS ‘LARRY FINE’ TAKES AIM AT ‘LARRY BIRKHEAD’ WITH A CREAM PIE AND LETS FLY AND ‘BIRKHEAD’ SHIELDS HIMSELF WITH ‘BABY DANNIELYNNE’ AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE THE PIE HITS ‘BABY’ IN THE FACE.