Not the Fox News Comedy Show 9

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A SMILING ‘KARL ROVE’ ON.

FOXY
Karl Rove’s retirement was short lived after he announced to ‘E! News’
last night he’s just accepted two high profile job offers for 2008. First
he will be a featured star on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and after he wins
that he will be a featured act on ‘America’s Got Talent’. Karl told Ryan
the producers have been hounding him since they saw him dance and rap
like a black waiter at the Whitehouse Correspondence Dinner and he is
now looking forward to strategically launching his entertainment career.,,
Wow Karl, that sure is a career change.

KARL
Yes Foxy I’m very excited, it’s going to be all go for Rove in 08,
I’ve already got me a rap cd in the works and a famous ghostwriter is
writing my stunning autobiography as we speak.

FOXY
How can a ghostwriter be famous?

KARL
He can if his name is Aaron Sorkin, oh darn, I promised Aaron I
wouldn’t name him, sorry Aaron me bad.

FOXY
Don’t worry Karl, no sane person believes your promises anyways.

KARL
Well that’s not true Foxy, I can name George W. Bush for one.

FOXY
My case is closed.

KARL
Say no more then.

FOXY
No more then.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘DAVE MATTHEWS’ IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.

FOXY
Dave Matthews last night dropped controversial bad boy black rapper
Naz from the Virginia Tech concert next month after getting renewed
criticism from the Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. He
apoligised profusely to the bereaved preachers and then announced
they have replaced Naz with good boy white rapper Eminem and that
after the concert he and his band will be checking into ‘Promises
Rehab’ to record a new CD and hopefully rid themselves of a growing
medical marijuana problem.,,,, Wow Dave, Eminem is sure a strange
choice to replace Naz with.

DAVE
Why is that Foxy, he is white, works clean, and doesn’t mention guns.

FOXY
Clean, have you heard an Eminem CD, he swears more than three drunk
sailors.

DAVE
What really ?

WE HEAR BAND MEMBERS LAUGHING, DAVE LOOKS OVER.

DAVE
Oh damn you guys, quit making me look a fool, quick, call back James
Brown and agree to his demands! ( HEAR MORE BAND LAUGHTER )

FOXY
I can see why they say Dave has one smoking band.

HEAR BAND LAUGHTER AND COUGHING AS ‘DAVE’ DISSAPEARS IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE. SMOKE DISSAPEARS TO REVEAL A GRINNING ‘JASON GIAMBI’

FOXY
New York Yankee’s designated hitter Jason Giambi announced last
night now that he has been cleared of being a steroid junkie by the
league he will go out a winner and retire immediately. He said he will
now book himself into ‘Promises Rehab’ to get rid of his small diet pill
addiction and will build himself up and emerge a professional tag team
wrestler teaming up with his good buddy and fellow dieter Barry Bonds,
who, also went out a winner by announcing his retirement from baseball.,,
Wow Jason, you and Barry becoming wrestlers, who would have thought ?

JASON
Ya Foxy we are both huge wrestling fans, we have been building
ourselves up for the last ten years following a strict wrestling diet
for this shot, we will be champions and you can bet on it.

FOXY
What’s the diet, coke and steroids?

JASON
Nooooo, coke and diet pills, breakfast of champions. ( GRINS )

FOXY
Well I sure hope wrestling doesn’t go down baseball’s path in regards
with drugs.

JASON
Don’t worry Foxy it won’t now that me and Barry are their champions.
( GRINS , A SYRINGE HITS HIM IN THE NOSE) Ouch Barry, quit
needling me that hurt.

HEAR ‘BARRY’ LAUGH AND A CHAIR GETS SMASHED OVER ‘JASON’S’ HEAD. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
Ouch , poor chair,,and that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for
‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘KARL ROVE’, ‘JASON GIAMBI’, AND ‘DAVE MATTHEWS’ HOLDING A PIECE OF PAPER.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a bit of an odd ball panel for ya all,

KARL
Hey excuse me Redd, just because I can sing and dance like a black man
it doesn’t make me odd, look at Michael Jackson, he’s not odd is he ?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘KARL’ LOOKS CONFUSED.

JASON
Well I have to admit I’ve got an odd ball, those diet pills have shrunk
one to a peanut,, whoops, did I say that out loud?

AUDIENCE ( voices only )
Yes you did !!! ( HUGE LAUGHTER AND DOG BARKS)

JASON
D’oh !

DAVE
Hey I’m not odd anymore now that I’m on medication, and, I’ve
got a medical marijuana prescription from Barry Bond’s doctor to
prove it. ( WAVES PAPER AROUND TO AUDIENCE CHEERS )

JASON
Oh Dave that’s sad, you don’t need drugs to be happy, look at me,
( GRINS ), Dave,,Dave you there,,

‘DAVE’ HAS FALLEN ASLEEP.

REDD
Dave’s not here man.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND ‘TOMMY CHONG’ WEARING A “DAVE” T SHIRT WALKS ON.

TOMMY
He is now man.

‘TOMMY’ SNATCHES ‘DAVE’S’ PRESCRIPTION AND RUNS AWAY FAST TO AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND CUT AS HE TRIPS.