Not the Fox News Comedy Show 10

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A GRINNING ‘TED NUGENT’ IN A STRAIGHT JACKET WITH A GOLD CHAIN AND CROSS AROUND NECK.

FOXY
Rocker Ted Nugent shot his mouth off again last night when at a
Washington D.C. concert he waved his weapon around and invited any
pot smoking commie loving Democrat to come up and suck on his
shotgun for a real blast. He then fired off a round of blanks at the
stunned crowd before two men with very long needles and white
coats came to take him away as he was yelling at his dwindling audience,
“I'm going to be the next God damned Attorney General and Governor of
Michigan and they better God damned vote for him or else!".,,, Wow Ted,
sounded quite a wild concert.

TED
Damn right Foxy those Washington audiences are scumbags that don’t
even listen to me for God’s sake, except for my good pal George W. Bush
and his beautiful family, thank God for Republicans.

FOXY
So are you serious about running for Governor of Michigan.

TED
God damned right I am, what, you think I’m crazy or something
Bitch !

FOXY
In a short word, ya.

‘TED’ IS ABOUT TO SWEAR AND MONITOR CHANGES TO RAPPER ‘DMX’

FOXY
Bad dog rapper DMX claimed last night to Larry King that the twelve
starving pit bulls found on his property he had just rescued from Michael
Vick’s basement and the half pound of pot found was for the dogs
to make them less aggressive so they could go back to being normal
friendly pit bulls. He was now sure with these facts know he will beat
the rap and the pigs will leave him, his dogs , and pot alone.,,,Wow DMX,
those dogs sure must smoke a lot.

DMX
Hell ya Foxy they love it, they even fight over who gets first bong, I don’t
bet on who wins anymore though.

FOXY
But don’t you think its cruel starving those dogs and then giving them
the munchies?

DMX
I ain’t starving em Foxy, I’m feeding them gourmet diet Chinese dog food, it keeps them fighting fit and happy, they love it.

HEAR DOG GROWLS, ‘DMX’ LOOKS FREAKED, SCREEN BLACKS OUT AND WE HEAR DOG ATTACK AND ‘DMX’ “OUCHES”.

FOXY
Sounds like a bad case of the munchies.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘NICOLE RITCHIE’.

FOXY
Nicole Ritchie was in more trouble last night after Beverly Hills police
pulled her over for erratic driving and found an ounce of pot in her car.
Nicole claimed the pot was for her dogs who got highly addicted after
listening to a DMX cd while she was away doing hard time and then
blamed the daddy of her unborn baby, rocker Joel Madden, for buying
the pot, who, in turn, blamed rapper DMX for telling him it was high
class Chinese dog food. After that logical explanation the police
apologized profusely and let Nicole drive off erratically again.,,,, Wow
Nicole, that sounded a close call.

NICOLE
Ya it was Foxy I was scared, I don’t want to go back to the slammer
again, I hate hard time!

FOXY
82 minutes doesn’t sound THAT hard.

NICOLE
It is when you are going through a bad period Foxy, it was like I
was living in bloody hell in there, it seemed to go on for like, hours.

FOXY
That’s almost too much info Nicole.

NICOLE
Sorry Foxy, jail hardened me, thank God I found Jesus in there,
thank you Jesus.

FOXY
Really, what was he in there for?

‘NICOLE’ LOOKS PERPLEXED, SCREEN TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now its time, for ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘TED NUGENT’ IN A STRAIGHT JACKET, A BANDAGED UP ‘DMX’, AND ‘NICOLE RITCHIE’ CLUTCHING A BIBLE.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a bit of a gangsta entertainer panel for ya
all,

TED
Hey Redd I ain’t no God damned gangster, I just carry guns to shoot animals and scumbag Democrat dogs! ( HEAR AUDIENCE DOG BARKS, ED SCOWLS AND FOAMS AT THE MOUTH )

DMX
Yo Redd I ain’t no gangsta anymore man, I found Jesus in Michael
Vick’s basement and I’ve damn near sold half my guns and dogs,
thanks Jesus you rock my man.

NICOLE
Ya I’m not really a gansta anymore either, I went from being Queen Bitch
in a hardened jail to a saintly Paris Hilton like figure after I found Jesus
in cell block 69, thank you Jesus I love you.

REDD
Damn, that Jesus sure gets around.

SUDDENLY 12 SKINNY SCARED BARKING PIT BULLS RUN THROUGH THE SCENE.

DMX
Hey,, who let my dogs out!

AUDIENCE DOGS ( voice only )
Woof Woof Woof Woof !

SUDDENLY ‘MICHAEL VICK’ APPEARS RUNNING AFTER THEM CARRYING AN OLD CHEWED UP BIBLE.

MICHAEL
Come back boys, I promise I won’t try and stuff religion down your
throats no more!

REDD
Damn, this religious stuff is really going to the dogs. ( GRINS TO AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS )

WE HEAR ‘MICHAEL’ BEING ATTACKED BY DOGS AND THEN HE RUNS THROUGH CARRYING A HALF EATEN BIBLE BEING CHASED BY THE 12 ANGRY DOGS AND CUT JUST AS HE TRIPS.


My dog Monty wants to know if anybody has any Michael Vick trading cards that he can eat and turn to gold on Ebay. Card holders will receive half the end product.