Not the Fox News Comedy Show 8

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A SMILING ‘DENISE RICHARDS’ ON.

FOXY
Denise Richards last night dropped her claim for a vile of Charlie
Sheen’s semen from her divorce demand after her close friend Melissa
Etheridge kindly donated her an old vile of David Crosby semen.
Denise said she was very excited about carrying David Crosby’s vile
semen and hopes one day when the baby wins American Idle that
Charlie will realize what a low life scumbag he was for not giving her
his vile semen.,,,, Wow Denise, David Crosby sure is an interesting
choice for a vile daddy.

DENISE
Yes foxy well he might be a low life womanizing druggie like Charlie
but, I’m very excited about getting some musical genes.

FOXY
Yes sounds like a winning combination.

DENISE
Well ya for a rock star it sure is.

FOXY
Move over Keith Richards.

DENISE
What’s my dad got to do with it?

FOXY
Never mind.

DENISE
Duh!

FOXY
Whatever.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’.

FOXY
Britney Spears made the news again last night after she stripped
naked and ran around ‘Promises Rehab’ yelling for Lindsay Lohan
to come out and play. When ‘Promises’ yelled back that Lindsay has
left the building Britney cheered, did four cartwheels, turned blue,
and then threw up all over her new toy boy, Garry Coleman.,,,,Wow
Britney, you and Gary make an interesting couple.

BRITNEY
Na that love was short lived Foxy, I dumped his sorry ass after I
found out how old he was, I got me a new black boy to kiss now.

FOXY
Really, who’se the lucky boy?

BRITNEY
He doesn’t want me to say Foxy, he doesn’t want any publicity.

URKEL ( voice only )
Hey that’s not true Britney, I want the whole world to know ,
Urkel is a one hot stud! Urkel did Britney! Urkel can cum

SUDDENLY ‘BRITNEY’ SMASHES A FRYING PAN OVER ‘URKEL’S’ UNSEEN HEAD.

FOXY
Ouch Britney, that was a bit heavy.

BRITNEY
Ya I was tired of him anyways, and I’ve got a big date tonight
with another hot black boy.

FOXY
Really, do we know him?

BRITNEY
Nope, I promised Eddie Murphy I wouldn’t name him,, oops,
I did it again. ( LAUGHS CRAZILY )

FOXY
Lucky Eddie.

MONITOR CHANGES TO ‘KATE BOWYER’ .

FOXY
Kate Bowyer the woman who lost her paternity suit against Chris
Rock last night admitted her suit was a mistake as she got Chris mixed
up with the real daddy, Eddie Murphy, saying, in a dark room all
black comics sound alike. When informed of the new claim Eddie’s
fiancé Tracy Edmunds replied, “Oh that dog, not another one !”,,,,
So Kate, sounds like you had a thing for black comics eh ?

KATE
Yes Foxy I love black comics, they are so dark and disturbing and yet
funny at the same time.

FOXY
And how are you sure Eddie is the real daddy.

KATE
Cause my kid runs around all day acting like that stupid loud mouth
ass from ‘Shrek’.

KID ( Gary Coleman voice only )
Oh hee haw mum, hee bloody haw. ( EDDIE MURPHY LAUGH )

FOXY
That Eddie sure has a lot to answer for.

HEAR MORE ‘EDDIE MURPHY’ LAUGHTER. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.

SHOT OF ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘DENISE RICHARDS’ HOLDING A TEST TUBE, ‘BRITNEY SPEARS’ WITH DRINK IN HAND, AND ‘KATE BOWYER’ CLUTCHING A FRAMED PICTURE.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a bit of a hot single mother panel
for ya all,

DENISE
Um excuse me Redd, I’m not technically single now that I’m carrying
David Crosby’s semen. ( KISSES TEST TUBE)

KAY
And I won’t be single long, I’m sure once he finds out he’s a daddy
Eddie Murphy will do the right thing and marry me.

SHE HOLDS ‘GARRY COLEMAN’ PICTURE UP TO AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS. SHE LOOKS PERPLEXED.

BRITNEY
Well I’m sure a hot single mother, I’m so hot I think I will take my
top off, weeeeeee

WE HEAR HUGE AUDIENCE CHEERS AND DOG BARKS. ‘REDD’ LOOKS ABOVE AND PRAYS.

REDD
Oh thank you Lord, thank you.

DENISE
You didn’t pray for that did you Redd?

REDD
Hell ya it’s rating week, I pray for wardrobe malfunction.

‘BRITNEY’ REMOVES TOP REVEALING SHE IS WEARING A ‘PROMISES REHAB’ T SHIRT. AUDIENCE GROAN THEIR DISSAPOINTMENT.

REDD
Oh damn promises, I didn’t want no promises Lord, I wanted
God damned boobies for Christ sake!

SUDDENLY A NAKED ‘LINDSAY LOHEN’ STREAKS THROUGH THE SCENE.

REDD ( looking above )
Oh my Lord, thank you thank you.

‘REDD’ PRETENDS TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND SUDDENLY ‘LINDSAY’ STREAKS THROUGH AGAIN CARRYING A DRINK AND TRIPS AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE HER BOOBS BOUNCE OFF THE FLOOR TO AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS.