Not the Fox News Dog Comedy Show 7

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND MONITOR BESIDE HER HAS A TEARFUL ‘DOG’ THE BOUNTY HUNTER ON.

FOXY
Dog the Bounty Hunter made another emotional plea on Bill
O’ Reilly last night this time apologizing profusely and
personally crying to the grieving Reverends Al Sharpton
and Jesse Jackson for calling his bad son’s nappy headed
bitch the N word. After a lot of Dog begging and crying
the grieving Reverends reluctantly agreed to forgive the
mongrel and then all three joined in a group hug and prayer
thanking God and Rupert Murdoch for letting them appear so
much on Fox TV due to the misfortune of sinners. Dog then
announced he just fired his half black Spiritual Adviser
what’s his name, and hired Rev Al as his new adviser and
promised God if Bounty Hunter gets to come back on tv he
will give Rev Al a recurring role to add some dark
comic relief and maybe even gain more religious and negro
viewers. ,,, Wow Dog, getting Reverend Al to appear on the
Bounty Hunter sounds a cunning move.

DOG
Ya Foxy we make a real great team, we are like funny
brothers from a different daddies, we are so funny the
producers of Caveman are already talking about giving
us our own Fox sitcom, thank you Lord and Rupert. ( KISSES BIBLE )

FOXY
Wow your own Fox sitcom, really?

DOG
Ya Foxy sounds funny too, Rev Al will be playing my sassy
mouthed butler Benson and I’ll be a lovable rogue Archie
Bunker bounty hunter type, they say we will be the
next Caveman comedy sensation, praise the Lord, I love
Caveman.

FOXY
Um, I think Caveman have gone into hibernation.

DOG
What really, Jesus, that was my God damned favourite show,,
Damn those writers!

‘DOG’ STARTS TO CRY AND MONITOR QUICKLY CHANGES TO A HAPPY ‘LANCE ARMSTRONG’ TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A TEENAGER.

FOXY
Lance Armstrong rang up Ryan Seacrest last night to tearfully
announce he has just broken up his loving relationship with 21
year old Ashley Olsen citing the age difference and constant
snide remarks from Sheryl Crow finally got to him. Lance says
he now prefers his girls to be a bit more mature and then
gleefully told Ryan he has just become engaged to Ashley’s
older sister Mary Kate, who, according to Lance, may be only a
minute older in human time but in dog time is years more mature
than her kid sister. He said the happy couple are planning a
Christmas wedding in Vegas followed by a romantic honeymoon in
Reno which will all be taped for a possible Fox reality series
or an arty internet movie.,,, So Lance, arty internet movie,
does that mean sex tape?

LANCE
Hell no Foxy, we like to think of it as more of a sex ed film for
young girls, like Ashley, but, we are sure the grown ups will
love it too, wink wink nudge nudge. (WINKS )

FOXY
Talking about grown ups Lance, when are you going to?

LANCE
What, what do you mean by that? ( GETS TEARFUL ) I
want my mummy now , I still love you mummy Sheryl.

‘LANCE’ STARTS CRYING AND MONITOR QUICKLY CHANGES TO ‘ROSIE O’ DONNELL’ HANGING UPSIDE DOWN ON HER SWING IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.

FOXY
Rosie O’ Donnell posted another swinging video on her website
last night telling her fans she turned down the job to be the
Head of M.S.N.B.C. News not because they wouldn’t give her a
helicopter but because the capitalist bastards refused to listen
to her when she told them the real truth. Rosie then announced
she will be doing her own hard hitting Larry King type political
show on the internet live from her swing to represent the swinging
voter and on the first show, scheduled for Christmas Day, Rosie
promised to unveil the truth about 9/11, the war, and why the Mets
choked this year and she’s rounded up Sean Penn, Sargent Shultz,
and Pete Rose to swing by to tell the real truth.,,, Wow Rosie,
what made you decide to do a hard hitting political show on
the internet?

ROSIE
I’m getting way to big for tv now Foxy, I’m going to become
the Oprah of the new media, I’ll be huge on the net.

FOXY
Yes, I’ve heard you gained a bit of weight lately.

ROSIE
Hey bitch no way, it’s just the swing adds ten pounds!

SWING BREAKS AND ‘ROSIE’ FALLS DOWN TO A LOUD THUD. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
Yeouch, that was a heavy weigh to end the news, but now, it’s
time for ‘Foxx n Friends’. ( SMILES )

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘LANCE ARMSTRONG’, ‘ROSIE’ WITH A HEAVILY BANDAGED HEAD AND WEARING A ‘RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT’ BADGE, AND ‘DOG’ GRIPPING A BIBLE. THERE IS ONE EMPTY SEAT.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and on today’s show we got a panel of fallen stars
for ya all,

LANCE
Hey Redd I’ve never fallen of my bike I can assure you, nobody
can prove I used to ride around with that drug runner Marion
Jones, and hey, fallen stars can’t screw 21 year old skinny rich
twins and old rock stars can they dude?

ROSIE
Well at least I’m man enough to admit I fell, and, that fall
seems to have knocked some sense into me as I’m even
questioning Sean Penn now because, Hello Shaun, fire can burn
steel, just ask any steel foundry worker you pinko lying
democrat. ( WAVES ‘I LOVE BUSH’ FLAG.)

DOG
Hey I might have fallen briefly again Redd, but I’ve risen again
thanks to my spiritual advisors God and Rev Al, I love God
and negroes, you guys rock.

‘DOG’ KISSES BIBLE TO AUDIENCE DOG BARKS, ‘DOG’ LOOKS MEAN AND GOWLS AT THEM, THEY SHUT UP FAST.IN RUNS ‘O.J. SIMPSON’ WEARING NOTHING BUT A SMILE AND A SMALL JOCKSTRAP.

O.J.
Sorry I’m late Redd, got held up in Vegas by some gun toting
sports memorabilia robbers.

REDD
Well at least they left you with SOME dignity.

O.J.
No they didn’t, I had to steal my Heistman winning cup back off
Michael Vick.

HEAR AUDIENCE DOG GROWLS AT THE MENTION OF ‘MICHAEL VICK.

REDD
Damn O.J., that’s a little bit below the belt. ( GRINS )

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS AND O’J’ LOOKS FREAKED AS TWO AUDIENCE BULL DOGS RUSH ON STAGE AND CUT AN INCH BEFORE THEY BITE OFF ‘O.J.’S’ WINNING CUP TO AUCTION OFF ON EBAY.