Not the Fox News Killer Dog Comedy Show

SHOT OF NEWSREADER ‘FOXY’ AND BESIDE HER IS A MONITOR WITH A SMILING ‘DREW PETERSON’ ON.

FOXY
Innocent wife killer policeman Drew Peterson was almost arrested for
assault last night after taseing, maceing, and then stomping all over the
entire Caveman writing staff’s picket line to appear on the Ellen Show.
When he told Ellen of the incident she shrugged it off and told him not
to worry as they were all unemployed bums now anyways because the
Caveman have gone into hibernation. She then broke out laughing so hard
at her bad joke her entire writing staff had to come on stage to try and
slap some sense into her. An enraged Ellen immediately fired her entire
writing staff and and then broke down in Drew’s arms crying how much
she still misses her beloved dog Iggy and Anne Heche’s beautiful
cooking.,,, Wow Drew, sounds like you and Ellen really bonded last night.

DREW
Ya Foxy, Ellen is one sexy funny broad, I’d even marry her myself if she wasn’t such an old and manly dyke, she tongue kisses like a giraffe on heat.

‘FOXY’ AND ‘DREW’ BOTH SHUDDER AT THAT THOUGHT.

FOXY
Yes but Drew, you’re already married.

DREW
Oh ya damn! Well, as soon as they dig up where my last wife is hiding
I’m going to demand a quickie divorce, maybe Ellen could introduce
me to Anne Heche cause I could really dig that broad I tell ya, mmmm

‘DREW’S’ SMILE WIPES OFF AND HE LOOKS EVIL. MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING ‘O.J. SIMPSON’.

FOXY
A jovial O.J. Simpson appeared on Larry King last night and told
Larry how happy and excited he was to be appearing before another
fine honest jury as no fine honest jury could possibly believe the
words of a gang of the sleaziest most vile disgusting sports
memorabilia robbing rats ever to walk Vegas, against the word of
a friendly Heistman Trophy winner and former loved comic actor.
O.J. said he is now writing a book about the incident and has already
had interest from Quentin Tarantino to turn it into a black comedy
remake of the old Vegas Rat Pack movie, ‘Robin and the 7 Hoods’,
though, O.J., was still holding out to play Robin rather than Quentin’s
first choices of Gary Coleman or Robert Blake.,,, So O.J., you trying
to get back into acting again?

O.J.
Hell ya Foxy wait until you see me in my next court appearance, I’m
going to act so good and innocent I’m hoping once again I’ll become
a much loved ball player and comic actor and the parts will flow in.

FOXY
Well I’m not sure being a much loved ball player is that good of a thing
in jail. ( SMIRKS )

‘O.J.’S’ SMILE QUICKLY WIPES OFF AND HE LOOKS EVIL. MONITOR CHANGES TO A SMILING PAKISTAN PRESIDENT ‘PERVEZ MUSHARRAF’

FOXY
In an exclusive interview last night Pakistan’s Chief of Control Pervez
Musharraf told Katie Couric he was going to lift the State of
Emergency in Pakistan very soonish now that he has subjected
Benazir Bhutto and former cricket player Imran Kahn to the dreaded
Cone of Silence. He said he will only be remaining Chief of Control
until he can rid Pakistan of all Chaos, sleazy shysters, and loud mouthed
women and journalists, and was very hopeful of holding a demographic
election by April 1,, 2012. ,, Wow Pervez, April 2012 sounds a long ways away.

PERVEZ
Well hopefully not that long Foxy as it’s also my retirement day when
I collect my very generous pension and retirement fund, roll on 2012,
I can hardly wait.

FOXY
So what are your plans after you retire from dictating ?

PERVEZ
I’m going to move to L.A. Foxy and produce factual Bollywood
Hollywood movies with my very good friend Hugo Chavez, Charlie
Sheen has already agreed to play me and I can smell Oscars already
Foxy.

FOXY
Well I’m not surprised, as you sure sound like you’re a bit of a
weiner. ( SMIRKS )

‘PERVEZ’ SMILE WIPES OFF AND HE LOOKS EVIL. MONITOR TURNS OFF.

FOXY
And that’s today’s headlines, and now it’s time for ‘Foxx n Friends’.
( SMILES )

SHOT TO ‘FOXX N FRIENDS’ SET WITH HOST ‘REDD FOXX’ AND SEATED ARE ‘PERVEZ MUSHARRAF’ LOOKING LIKE A ‘HOLLYWOOD’ PRODUCER , ‘DREW PETERSON’ AND ‘O.J. SIMPSON’ CLUTCHING BIBLES. THERE ARE TWO EMPTY SEATS.

REDD
Thanks Foxy, and today we got a real killer of a show for ya all,

PERVEZ
Goodness gracious me Redd I am no killer, I have a very loyal army
that does that for me. ( GRINS TO SILENCE )

DREW
Well I’m sure not a killer, it’s just I had the misfortune of marrying
suicidal broads and then get murdered by the media, I’m no wife killer
honest, just ask my first and second wifes. ( GRINS TO SILENCE )

O.J.
Ya I know how you feel Drew, I got bloody murdered by the media
for a crime some other bad black guy did and I swear to God, one day
I’m going to find that fast running one armed black guy and
make the media and Ron Goldman admit they are bloody fools.

HEAR AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘O.J.’ SCOWLS AND TAKES A KNIFE OUT OF HIS BIBLE, THEY SHUT UP FAST. IN PRANCE ‘PHIL SPECTOR’ WEARING ‘DON IMUS’S’ WIG AND JET BLACK HAIRED ‘ROBERT BLAKE’ HOLDING HANDS.

ROBERT
Sorry we are late Redd, we had a bad hair day.

PHIL
Yes Robert’s hair took forever to die black, I’m sooo glad I have such
natural hair. ( FLIPS HAIR AND WIG FALLS OFF, HE SCREAMS )

HEAR BIG AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND DOG BARKS, ‘ROBERT’ AND ‘PHIL’ LOOKED PISSED OFF AND PULL OUT GUNS AND AIM AT THE CAMERA AND CUT TO THE SOUND OF A MASS ‘TARZAN’ JUNGLE ANIMAL STAMPEED JUST AS BULLETS GO OFF.