Not the Fox News

NOT THE FOX NEWS

SHOT OF ‘FOXY BIMBO’ WITH MONITOR BEHIND HER A PICTURE OF ‘JAMES CAMERON’S JESUS’ IN COFFIN.

FOXY
After finding Jesus was a huge ratings winner James Cameron is already
working on his next documentary about what happened to James Brown’s
body. It’s being produced by Al Gore’s manager David Geffen and will
feature a new soundtrack by Elvis, who, James Cameron said, d.n.a tests
proved was actually James Brown’s albino brother.

JESUS
Damn that James Cameron, I never thought I’d be uncovered as a
fraud.

ELVIS ( voice only )
Jesus I hope he doesn’t find me.

JESUS
Don’t worry my son I won’t tell.

ELVIS
Thank you Jesus, thank you.

JESUS
Please Elvis just call me dad.

ELVIS
Dad, I would kill for a cheeseburger now.

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘HILLARY CLINTON’ LOOKING MEAN.

FOXY
America’s most influential political advisor David Geffen has called
for Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama to quit their cat fighting and
kiss and make up though he did stress, no tongue. Speaking at an Al Gore
hot air fundraiser he told a throng of actors and lesbians he was sure the
best man would eventually win the Democratic leadership.

HILLARY ( angrily)
Excuse me David, just because I have balls it doesn’t make me a man!

BILL CLINTON ( voice only )
Hillary I’ve ironed your pants and boxers, anything else you want done
Maam ?

HILLARY ( angry )
Shut up Bill! You are ruining my sexy caring feminine image !

BILL
Yes Sir !

MONITOR CHANGES TO A PICTURE OF ‘AL GORE’ IN A CLOUD OF SMOKE.

FOXY
Speaking at his own fundraiser Al Gore said even though he invented the
internet, saved the world, and won an Oscar, he totally agrees with
anything David Geffen says because now that Jesus has been uncovered
as a fraud David is the closest thing we have to a god in America as d.n.a.
tests proved he was directly linked to Charlton Heston, the Reverend Al
Sharpton, and, James Brown’s Body? ,, Gee, I’ll have what he’s smoking.

AL
Don’t be silly Foxy I don’t smoke because it’s bad for global warming,
and, look what it did to Clinton.

FOXY
Yes it got him elected,, and Monica.

AL
Oh ya. ( COUGHS AND SMOKE COMES OUT OF MOUTH) Whoops
excuse me, all right no more smoke screens for me, I admit it,, I
just want to be president. ( GRINS, COUGHS AND MORE SMOKE
COMES )

MONITOR PICTURE CHANGES TO ‘O.J SIMPSON’ SITTING AT DESK WRITING A BOOK.

FOXY
A late runner has entered the Anna Nicole baby father stakes today when
O.J. Simpson confirmed he was the real father saying he and Anna have
been having a torrid affair since just before Nicole’s mysterious death. He
is now writing a book about it simply titled, ‘Me, Anna, Nicole, a True
Love Story’. As of yet no publisher has been found though he has sold the TV rights to David Geffen and James Cameron for a Fox documentary.

SUDDENLY A GIANT FOX DROPS DOWN AND SQUISHES ‘o.j.’

FOXY
Ouch, looks like another juicy book deal squashed by Fox.

FOX
Ya it was a heavy way to end his writing career, but, what the
hell, now, where’s that Al Frankin gone ?

‘AL FRANKIN’ CARRYING A BOOK QUICKLY RUNS THROUGH THE SCENE.

FOXY ( pointing )
There he goes, Quick !

‘FOX’ JUMPS OUT OF THE MONITOR AND CHASES HIM FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY ‘MONTY’ BARKING AND NIPPING AT HIS HEELS. CUT.